You can't "be" OCD.
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You can't "be" OCD.

This is a discussion on You can't "be" OCD. within the Venting forums, part of the Feeding the Fire category; I'm really uncomfortably angry right now. Granted there's a lot going on for me which is bothering me in general ...

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Old 12-22-13, 02:14 AM   #1
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Default You can't "be" OCD.

I'm really uncomfortably angry right now. Granted there's a lot going on for me which is bothering me in general but this morning really ticked me off and I can't get it off my mind.

My father has a guest staying at our house, an old friend from our country of birth, and while I'm all-round unhappy with that happening in the first place I recognise it's not only my house and someone else is allowed to have a guest if they want. Plus they haven't been around much while they've been going to see sights etc.

It's such a little thing but grrr. Basically I was going about my normal business, unpacking groceries and taking out trash, when I overheard the guest talking to my father about how she likes to do her laundry in a particular way. I guess he asked her why (I wasn't trying to hear, I just happened to be close enough when she responded) and she said "Because I'm pedantic and OCD." with a laugh.

"Because I'm OCD."

I really, really wanted to say something to set her straight. I didn't know if it would be worth the confrontation so I hesitated and then they left for the day and I've been in a bad mood over it the whole time. OCD isn't a fucking adjective, it stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Even if she had OCD she couldn't be OCD.

It's always wrong when people use mental illnesses to describe their quirky personality traits but this one got to me on a personal level because of how much I struggle with my anxiety disorder on a daily basis. I don't have OCD but it's in the anxiety spectrum of mental disorders so I relate to some aspects of it and felt personally insulted to have a disorder very similar to what I experience made into a joke.

I kept rehearsing in my mind what I'd like to say to her. I wouldn't want an argument but I wish I could assertively explain to her why her words are offensive without losing my cool. I wouldn't give a shit if she thought of me as weird for bringing it up - if she thinks OCD is some kind of cute little habit then her thoughts are clearly not valuable - but she'll be here for another five days and I wouldn't want to deal with the awkwardness I guess.

Ugh. She's not a malicious person, just oblivious apparently.
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Old 12-27-13, 06:57 PM   #2
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On Christmas Eve I said what I wanted to a family member about something that really sticks in my craw about him, and it did not have good results.

Sounds like your father's feelings matter to you, and for him to have a successful visit. -- I'd urge you to let it pass by. Unless you come up with a remark so funny you can make this woman laugh, don't address her remark.

The holiday can make things such as this irritate us by an order of magnitude more. It may not even matter to you in a little while. Your territory was invaded before she went and said it, so there was already a thing happening to bug you.
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Old 12-27-13, 10:30 PM   #3
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My father's feelings don't matter to me at all except when they affect me, which is likely considering we live together (not for much longer though). It's just that I wouldn't want to deal with people treating me a certain way after something I've said has made them uncomfortable - making them uncomfortable in itself doesn't bother me. I wish there wasn't a consequence to it other than them actually taking constructive criticism and improving their behaviour with it. I wish more people could just accept meaningful conversation in day-to-day discourse without it impacting their precious feelings.
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Old 01-05-14, 09:19 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Knox View Post
I wish there wasn't a consequence to it other than them actually taking constructive criticism and improving their behaviour with it. I wish more people could just accept meaningful conversation in day-to-day discourse without it impacting their precious feelings.
I totally agree. I wish that too. I think the world is filled with too many dangerous, miserable, and downright nasty people. Too many people can't just take criticism and listen, then offer their opinions in a non-hurtful manner, then listen to your comments and reach an agreement. In college they would always talk about fostering dialogue. "We have to keep the dialogue going." That turned out to be such BS. Many people aren't interested in dialogue, they're interested in being right or being competitive. Many conversations are nothing more than poorly disguised power struggles, with one party wanting to dominate and even humiliate the second party. Gosh, people man...

Sorry about this. That does sound offensive. Good on you for not wanting to lose my cool. Sometimes I think I'm too cool, calm, and collected. I wish I could sometimes get really buck or aggressive, but I guess it's for the best.

I would say maybe you should just let it go and be in the present moment. The way to let go of the past according to Eckhart Tolle is to be in the present moment and feel whatever you're feeling until it turns positive. He said that the past is never dealt with by dwelling on it, only by dying to it. Just a thought.
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Old 01-07-14, 12:38 AM   #5
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Thanks SensualGirl. I am over it now, it was just such an awful kind of frustration - having someone who is practically a stranger staying in my house and then feeling belittled and insulted by them, in a way that was so indirect I felt I couldn't reasonably stand up for myself.

I think letting things go more easily would benefit me but with something like this I feel like there's a bigger issue involved - the disrespect of people with mental disorders - and it bothered me not correcting someone on it. Honestly if she'd called me a bitch or something to my face I wouldn't have cared as much, lol, but it wasn't just about me. It sucks that I let someone keep believing there's nothing wrong with the "I'm OCD" comment but, yeah, I mostly forgot about it after a few days. A lot of what I was feeling was probably anxiety too because even the thought of a possible confrontation makes me very nervous.
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