Not aimed at anyone here. Please pardon me while I have a bout of Tourette’s…
You stupid fucking shits. I have been afraid for my whole life of confronting people and actually standing up for myself and demanding ROOM for myself on this fucking earth. I am so goddamned accommodating.
Squeezable fucking insidious conniving crap. I am afraid of my sibling’s reaction, I am afraid of my (so-called) friend’s reaction, I am afraid of the government. Afraid, afraid, afraid.
Ineffable fucks. I feel inferior to a whole cadre of (mostly male) people in “my” field, I am not sure it is actually MY field when I am not very qualified. I am also not really permitted to do most of the work; my so-called friend does it. I simply do the office part of it.
It makes me sick to my stomach and weak for hours on end when he’s angry at me. Right now yelling in my head helps quite a bit and the sick feeling is relieved. I am not sure when my so-called friend will resume speaking to me, he won’t right now. I already tried reaching out and so I’m waiting a bit.
No, no, no. Can’t do anything that would actually create a future for myself, can’t do that, it would upset all his plans…. Can’t say what I really think about things. Hence, this.