It's a bit random, but it's bothering me
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It's a bit random, but it's bothering me

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Old 09-17-15, 03:16 PM   #1
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Post It's a bit random, but it's bothering me

In my first thread, I said that I also would like to help others, and I do but I forgot that I suck at giving advice.. I pretty much suck at everything.
I'm only 16, and most people will think that "it's only a phase", but even if it is, I hate myself. I hate the way I look, i hate my voice, I hate my body..
I am in a relationship, and the guy I am with lives in a different country, so we never met in person. I'm scared that he lies to me, because I don't see how he could like someone like me. I've had some bad experiences with online dating.. like, one year ago or something, I started talking with a guy on Skype (only typing) and some months later his name and country changed and I felt so stupid.. It's because of that and other things that I have trust issues.. And I think the guy I'm with will leave me eventually.. He says he won't but i doubt it.. I really love him.. And it's not some "teen love" or something..

I'm sorry if this is all random things, but I started typing and those things came to mind and I felt like writing them, idk.. I'm scared to post this, to be honest..
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Old 09-17-15, 11:59 PM   #2
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Hi Soulless

I sorry you're feeling down. I'm not the right person to talk about relationship. But I feel for you, that you're feeling sad..

I think online relationship takes time to know whether it works between both you and him. To know whether the relationship will work, is to tell him what you are, how you feel about yourself, etc. If he continue with you, that means he really like you for who you are. Easy said, but I think thats the only way to know how he feels towards you.

Or maybe you want to take the slow approach ie follow what the online relationship brings you.

I understand it's hard when you have trust issue. But again, we can't tell unless we go through it. Either fast approach ie tell him who, what you are or slow approach ie follow where it brings you.
As time goes by, and when you got to know him better, your instinct might be able to help along the way.

Btw, I'm afraid hating yourself can contribute to possible unsuccessful relationship. I heard many times that we must luv ourselves first before we luv others or to have a relationship. I hope he is a nice person, and can help you to feel good about yourself. At the same time, we cannot rely solely on others to make us happy because they might have their own problems and need their partner's support too. You won't be able to support him if you're not happy with yourself.

You can do it.

Last edited by Dania; 09-18-15 at 12:02 AM.
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Old 09-18-15, 07:22 AM   #3
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Well, I don‘t really think “it‘s just a phase“. Shure, teen years are hard, but it‘s not like depression is just a phase. I mean, over 90% people never experienced depression in their life. On the other side, I‘m not much older, so what do I know?

Now, I do think that online relationships can work, but we all know how difficult it is to read people, let alone over skype or other simmilar programs. But it can work. So if you think he‘s worth it, give it a shot.

You said you‘re afraid he would leave you. Why would he be with someone like you? First of all, there is much more good things about you than you give yourself credits for. And let‘s be rational for a second? Why would he be with you if he didn‘t like you. I mean, he gets nothing out of it, right?

Why do you say you hate yourself? You don‘t have to answer me, but answer to yourself. Truthfuly. Make a list. Try to change those things.

And you know, you insulted me. You are afraid of posting here? WTF? Just kiddin‘. But seriously, there is really no reason for fear. We‘re all friends here. We all have hard times. It‘s perfectly ok to vent here. That‘s what this place is for. And don‘t worry about giving advice. Most of the times, it‘s enough someone is willing to listen. Sometimes we just need to kill loneliness. Atleast to me

Anyway, take care of yorself
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Old 09-18-15, 10:12 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dania View Post
Hi Soulless

I sorry you're feeling down. I'm not the right person to talk about relationship. But I feel for you, that you're feeling sad..

I think online relationship takes time to know whether it works between both you and him. To know whether the relationship will work, is to tell him what you are, how you feel about yourself, etc. If he continue with you, that means he really like you for who you are. Easy said, but I think thats the only way to know how he feels towards you.

Or maybe you want to take the slow approach ie follow what the online relationship brings you.

I understand it's hard when you have trust issue. But again, we can't tell unless we go through it. Either fast approach ie tell him who, what you are or slow approach ie follow where it brings you.
As time goes by, and when you got to know him better, your instinct might be able to help along the way.

Btw, I'm afraid hating yourself can contribute to possible unsuccessful relationship. I heard many times that we must luv ourselves first before we luv others or to have a relationship. I hope he is a nice person, and can help you to feel good about yourself. At the same time, we cannot rely solely on others to make us happy because they might have their own problems and need their partner's support too. You won't be able to support him if you're not happy with yourself.

You can do it.
He knows how I feel since the beginning of our reationship, so approximately 8 months.. And yeah, he continued with me so that must mean something, I guess, but sometimes I feel like it doesn't.. But maybe you're right, maybe he does like me, idk..

And I've thought about that too.. Hating myself is probably causing me to think that he doesn't like me.. But I will try to think differently about myself.

Thank you
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Old 09-18-15, 10:30 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shacke View Post
Well, I don‘t really think “it‘s just a phase“. Shure, teen years are hard, but it‘s not like depression is just a phase. I mean, over 90% people never experienced depression in their life. On the other side, I‘m not much older, so what do I know?

Now, I do think that online relationships can work, but we all know how difficult it is to read people, let alone over skype or other simmilar programs. But it can work. So if you think he‘s worth it, give it a shot.

You said you‘re afraid he would leave you. Why would he be with someone like you? First of all, there is much more good things about you than you give yourself credits for. And let‘s be rational for a second? Why would he be with you if he didn‘t like you. I mean, he gets nothing out of it, right?

Why do you say you hate yourself? You don‘t have to answer me, but answer to yourself. Truthfuly. Make a list. Try to change those things.

And you know, you insulted me. You are afraid of posting here? WTF? Just kiddin‘. But seriously, there is really no reason for fear. We‘re all friends here. We all have hard times. It‘s perfectly ok to vent here. That‘s what this place is for. And don‘t worry about giving advice. Most of the times, it‘s enough someone is willing to listen. Sometimes we just need to kill loneliness. Atleast to me

Anyway, take care of yorself
Even if you're not much older than me, you're right about that, I didn't think of that.

I do think he is worth it.. Before this website he was the only one that knew how I felt, and if he didn't help me and supported me, I would feel so much worse by now..

And I guess you're right, he would just be wasting his time talking to me cx

I agree with you, it's enough someone is willing to listen, at least there is somebody that cares.. even if it's just a little bit

Thank you, and take care of yourself too
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