I'm Such A Loser... So Lonely
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I'm Such A Loser... So Lonely

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Old 06-22-09, 04:54 AM   #1
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Even my girl is showing hatred toward me... I wish I could find a job... Sometimes I wonder how I'm supposed to keep going like this, with my drug addiction and all. I don't hardly give a fuck no more, I'm just like fuck it.
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Old 06-22-09, 05:00 AM   #2
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Morning Venom...I'm sorry your feling bad...Have you ever thought about getting some help with your addiction? afterall it's never too late and if you are truly sick of things the way they are then try something else...Easier said then done, I know how hard it is to stop doing something you really like but in the scheme of things what would it hurt to try to get a grip on it?

I love ya dude and I can relate to your dilema...quitting is the only solution I see atm...What do you thing would happen if you where to come off of the pills...after the detox of course...

((((((((((((((((Courage Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))
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Old 06-22-09, 05:05 AM   #3
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I just can't see myself without pills and reefer. It's the only thing that dumbs my mind down enough to handle this reality, I think too much my nervous system stays on go. I just guess I need to quit lettin it get outta hand.
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Old 06-22-09, 05:07 AM   #4
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IM SORRY YOU're feeling bad VENOM -i dont know what to say just letting you know im thinking of you if thats much helpx
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Old 06-22-09, 05:15 AM   #5
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Once addiction is full blown it's incredibly hard if not impossible to "handle"...Have you ever thought about getting into an in-patient program...I had to do it when I was in my early twenties...it actually taught me alot even tho a couple of years later I went back into full blown addict mode at least I knew what it would take to get my life back yet again...I've gone thru it a couple of times in my life but quitting and re-evaluating it was my only salvation at times...it's all very confusing and I know it scares you to think about life without so just think about one day at a time...just don't do it alone as you already kno it can be dangerous...

And I would think they would wean you off of them and maybe get you on some proper meds for your depression...the addiction could be making your other symptoms appear much worse...Think about it?

((((((((((venom)))))))))))
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Old 06-22-09, 06:24 AM   #6
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We are almost in the same boat, minus the pills. If not for cannabis I don't think I would have any sanity at all. But I also take it for my epilepsy because pills for epilepsy are far too dangerous for me to want to take.

But anyway, my point of view... why do you think you are a loser? because you cant find work? That doesn't make you a loser. I know a lot of people with high paying jobs that I consider truly losers. You are nothing like my father. I wish I could take you to his house and show you how he lives, so you could see how much different you are from someone like that.

Just... thinking about your actions is HUGE. You obviously think about your actions enough to post this message. A lot of people wouldn't have done that.

I know it's hard to see it when you look at yourself, but I personally do not think you are a loser at all. I thought I was a loser throughout my childhood, and maybe I was in some people's eyes, but they are so different... so in reality, I think sometimes that they are the losers, and I am the normal one.

Maybe it's a lie, maybe it isn't. I don't know but it seems logical.
To some degree, you have to be like "fuck it" because if you take things too seriously, you would probably still be depressed either way... so I guess just try to keep a sense of humor. It's hard but just breathe.

It's a load of crap coming from me because I don't do any of that. I'm hard on myself too... even though I am saying this now, won't make any difference. *DEEP PUFF*

Hope you feel better soon Venom.
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Old 06-22-09, 10:48 AM   #7
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Hi venom.

Me so sorry your feel bad.I hope you get better soon.
(((((venom huggy)))))

Be safe and well.

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Old 06-22-09, 10:05 PM   #8
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(((((venom)))))

I agree with TA on the pills issue. Dont think you can manage something once you are addicted to it. Its always going to get out of hand. And AD's might work really well for you- you might not even feel you need xanax when you are on them. They certainly dope me up pretty well.

Sorry bout your girl. Hope you are feeling better. (((hugs)))
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