I'm feeling like there's little hope, if any at all.
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I'm feeling like there's little hope, if any at all.

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Old 09-28-21, 09:30 PM   #1
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Default I'm feeling like there's little hope, if any at all.

I don't know how much longer I'll make it before I might be going crazy from not being able to be me. I just don't know. It seems like God has abandoned me to dealing with this all by myself. I'm with this brother of mine who seems to constantly criticize and watch everything I do and it makes it hard for me to relax at times. I never know when he is going to explode in anger towards me. I feel a more acute sense of dread and sadness over life than happiness. The only happiness I might get is when I ask for something and that person happens to follow up but that's about it. I'm lucky to get any sort of appreciation of what I do in life. I wish I had an angel of God appear as a sign that he's actually protecting me instead of abandoning me. I can't just go somewhere to get away because I'm not able to drive and I can't just go to some other place to escape because well my friends are busy people themselves. I have had times when I wish I was someone else who got to do more activities and gets more cheers you know. It seems like little has worked out for me in life and I'm lucky that any sort of dream I had in life ever came true. Maybe prayer will help and I have tried praying and all. For some reason, I kind of doubt that God will ever help me at all. He says there is hope for me but it's been a bit hard for me to see that. I don't know why. I'm not seeing myself accomplish much or really live a dream. It seems like I have damn little to look forward to. I can't see any sort of good purpose for myself on this earth at all. The only thing I seem to be looking forward to at the present time is the day he happens to finish this project of his and leaving. Part of me thinks by the time he'd be able to leave, it'd be too cold for any of us to want to be outdoors. It doesn't look like much good will come out of all this. I can't for the life of me see how life can be better. I don't see how I can choose happiness when I'm feeling constantly miserable. I was hoping to have had more to life than this kind of existence but now it doesn't look like it. I'm starting to become very depressed about life like my suffering will have been a real waste. I'm starting to feel pretty gloomy about everything. I don't know why.
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Old 10-13-21, 04:21 PM   #2
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Hello, how is your day going? Hope you are better. I felt like this before, and I will tell you a secret, God will never give you a direct answer or a sign, but that is not a bad thing, he gives you the opportunity to take courage to get yourself out of the hole.

You must take the courage to talk to someone about how you feel, sometimes it seems that there is no one but I swear there is, you are not alone.

Find things that excite you, if these activities don't hurt you, then try these activities. Realize what you are worth and then find what you like to have a living for.

I know this seems silly, I also believed it before. Please seek help and take care of yourself.
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