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This is a discussion on 3 am thoughts within the Venting forums, part of the Feeding the Fire category; Before my husband and I got married(we’re both 23 yo btw) he messed around with this other girl while we ...

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Old 04-23-18, 05:53 AM   #1
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Before my husband and I got married(we’re both 23 yo btw) he messed around with this other girl while we were on a “break” and although we weren’t technically together it still hurt very much. And this happened about probably two years ago now. The memory of him doing that still haunts me almost every night. I don’t know what to do about this anymore. I just want this memory to stop haunting me. What should I do?
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Old 04-23-18, 06:12 AM   #2
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@bruised..yes...these memories can hurt very much specially if one feels betrayed and cheated upon,i woul feel the same because tbh i am rather jealously oriented regarding relationship issues..i have been cheated upon but not while i was in a relationship,my ex gf from the U.K told me in all honesty i was relationship nr 20..but while we were together she kept her word to me and never cheated as far as i know..i would have been devastated if she did...nowadays sex has become such an easy thing to get involved it...booze,just the feeling of the moment etc...and often people do not think of the consequences it can impose on two people who say to each other==you're the one...cheating is putting a dagger in someone's heart...in your case==did you talk abouth this to him?is the hurt you feel driving you into a jealousy and distrust issue?you can maybe forgive,but not forget?try to work on the issue and feel the love you feel for him as genuine..not fake...life goes on...
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Old 04-23-18, 09:06 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by tigerlover View Post
@bruised..yes...these memories can hurt very much specially if one feels betrayed and cheated upon,i woul feel the same because tbh i am rather jealously oriented regarding relationship issues..i have been cheated upon but not while i was in a relationship,my ex gf from the U.K told me in all honesty i was relationship nr 20..but while we were together she kept her word to me and never cheated as far as i know..i would have been devastated if she did...nowadays sex has become such an easy thing to get involved it...booze,just the feeling of the moment etc...and often people do not think of the consequences it can impose on two people who say to each other==you're the one...cheating is putting a dagger in someone's heart...in your case==did you talk abouth this to him?is the hurt you feel driving you into a jealousy and distrust issue?you can maybe forgive,but not forget?try to work on the issue and feel the love you feel for him as genuine..not fake...life goes on...[IMG class=inlineimg]https://www.takethislife.com/images/smilies/smiley-greet025.gif[/IMG]

The thing is we have talked about it. Probably a lot of times after it happened. But even after talking to him about it so many times it still doesn’t seem to help. Unfortunately I do distrust him a lot after that. He knows that as well. I’ve made it super clear on how badly it has hurt me. I’m someone who has a hard time letting this go but i feel like it’s been long enough that i should’ve already moved past this but for some reason I can’t.
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Old 04-23-18, 10:19 AM   #4
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sure...if one talks about issues like this..it's often his word against yours..and if one is sensitive pain and distrust will always linger on..if it does not help for you after discussing this issue i think it might be wise to try to get yourself over it...but how?I can understand your distrust issue...it's your vulnerabilty...distrust is a pain in the ass for anyone..if you feel super hurt,then probably he will feel your insecurity about him...if this lingers on even at 3 a.m in the morning you created yourself a problem,berry... the reason why you can't let go...is the emotional hurt and that's something very often people cannot let go...thanks for posting this on an open forum in all honesty...
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