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My rant of the day

This is a discussion on My rant of the day within the The TTL Cafè forums, part of the The Lighter Side category; all things u r a smart girl...

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Old 07-05-06, 02:57 AM   #31
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
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all things u r a smart girl
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Old 07-05-06, 10:18 PM   #32
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Default Response to shaydar, Kss820 and Dunwithit

I just read through this section, and I have a few things that I want to say:
Shaydar-good for you. Talking back and not falling for his lecherous advances. These types are predators. They have no confidence in themselves, usually the relationships are open because one of the two partners aren't performing, and the marriage is 'kept alive' by allowing the 'still functioning one' to go out of it to find what they need so that they don't leave the marriage just because its not provided. In my opinion, its not healthy. I'm with you. A healthy relationship doesn't share. When you love someone, you don't want their lips touching anyone else's lips, you don't want their hands carressing anyone else. What I have always found that works with 'this type' is give a little smile acknowledging that they want you, and say, thats very nice, but I'm a private person, and the person that I am with not only doesn't share, but is the jealous type, so I just wanted to let you know. Even if before you told him that you're single and looking, he will have no idea when you met this new person or how close you got in a small amount of time. Don't be ashamed of beauty. Its ok to be beautiful. I feel so much for the girl/woman who posted that she wanted to commit suicide because she's beautiful. Its a good thing. God creates beauty, and the world always loves when people spend a little bit more time taknig care of themselves. Be proud that you are a woman. Don't let men who gawk at you make you feel bad. remember, that is their way of baskically saying, you're hot and I wish my world were different and you are in it. They just sort of say the wrong things. Most men will try and see if they can get something. What do they have to lose. Just act as if you get these offers all day long, and that you're beautiful and that you don't even take them seriously because you're on such a higher plane. That will have you attract what you really want. You don't want to resonate to the lechers or let them know that they're throwing you off your game. The right person will come to you, and one day you'll be with your man and your son at the pool. I feel for the women who 'share their man' especially if they have children. What are they teaching their children about love and the sancttty of marriage?
Kss820: I am just like you. I don't ever respond right away, which is why I told Shadar what to say. It took me years to realize that I needed developed responses to 'cat calls' because I, like you don't respond visually, or audiolly, but I'm a processor. I have to feel the answer, and so I usually don't have the answers rolling off my toungue. Someone says something and I have to process how it feels before I can respond. I don't want to say the first thing that comes off my chest, because my tongue usually goes into mode before my thinking, therefore, I don't respond immediately, and your'e right, people may judge it as something else in deadman's example. But for me it is what it is. People after a while realize that its not out of not knowing, that it is out of me doing something that most people don't. I sit and think about an answer that really expresses what I want to say. Everyone responds to everything immediately. I find I use time as if it were free and think of all the ramifications of whateve my answer is, and so for things like gawkers, or lechers, I always had very polite but firm boundry responses roll off my tongue so that I didn't need to even honor their suggestions (but underneath it all I used to love, absolutely love when the construction guys would whistle, and being 56 now, I sort of miss a nice whistle now and then)
Dunwithit: Congratualtions and welcome back. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. What kind of convalescing do you have to go through? Do you have help taking care of you? Are you following doctors orders? Did they tell you what you need to do to make sure it doesn't come bacK?
I hope you all have a great evening
Sparkling
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