Too funny

You would have to become one with the fifth dimension, which means being like an ectoplasmic marshmallow. The rent is 1700 Albanian Goolagongs per week.

ohh yeah?? then show me what u got !!! i need some moves! HEHEHE



Hhee bar tending here should fix the prob!

now, can i fix u a drink?? -working for ma goolagogs ya know?-

I built my secret villain's fortress in a breadcrumb lying on the sidewalk outside of the San Francisco Giants' ballpark. Now, I'm on the phone, right, trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction from the DMV, a Mecca bingo hall in Bradford, and the Korean bodega down the road, and all that I get is my henchmen keep knocking on the door, wanting to talk about there's no 401(k) and wanting to unionize. I can't be having this fucking dilemma, I tell you.

So I send the henchmen off to find me a signed Shania Twain poster, and then I finally get through to the president of Poland's equivalent of the Elks, and he wants to buy that dodgy Renoir I've had in storage in a barn on a farm outside of Topeka, KS for the past three years. I'm selling it to him for eleventy three billion euros, when the maid walks in and says "can I do you now, Sir?" and outs with a bow and arrow, and kills me. Yeah, that's right, this is my ghost talking. Can I interest you in some uranium, guv'ner?

hello .................................................. .................................................

MECCA bingo HALL IN bradford lol xxx

where does it all come from Juno............... where does it all go to
why are we here - is this it - is it??

simple "C-4 TO THE DOOR NO BEEF NO MORE GUV`NER. YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN???


ahhah i think is Juno in wonderland.

this is the Nemesis! i decree!!

giggles

ICEDD COOFEEEE PLZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

need to earn goolagongs!!! :P :P

Is hot as sin outside!!!

I was on a bright red airship traveling from Vienna to Brussels - FUCKING BRUSSELS, MIND - and it occured to me that I had a headache. I detached my head with an official Boy Scout pocketknife, and felt around in it, and pulled out a handkerchief that belonged to Mother Theresa, and which was soaked with the tears of Debbie Reynolds.

Now, putting my head back on, I sat at the computer terminal to get on the internet. That's when I realized I'd put my head on backwards. I fixed that - I BLOODY FIXED IT, ALRIGHT? - and then I called up ebay and promptly listed the handkerchief for sale, with a starting price of $89.

When I looked up, I was in Grand Union station by the ticket booths and the handkerchief had disappeared. Instead there was a black wooden cane on the floor by my feet. The cane turned into a coral snake and slithered up my leg and ate my penis.

It was then that I realized my hands had two pocketwatches embedded in the palms. I smashed my hands together, and the pocketwatches broke, and two minature purple doves flew out of my hands and attacked the snake. The snake fell onto the floor and became a puddle of brake fluid. From the puddle arose a shapeless mass of something, I couldn't tell what, but it looked like dough. It formed into a shape of a person, and the features became distinct. When it was fully formed, I saw it was the croupier from the MGM Grand that I had sat next to on a bus in Las Vegas one time three years ago. Instinctively I stepped forward and slapped her face, and she exploded in a million glass shards, emitting a loud bang as she did so.

Suddenly I was on a speedboat in the parking lot of Angels Stadium, and there were hundreds of airplanes flying overhead. I spotted my airship. It landed in the parking lot and turned into a herd of elephants - IT'S FUCKING TRUE, I TELL YOU. The elephants danced in a synchronated pattern, and I jumped out of the speedboat and it turned into a Cape Cod house. I walked through the front door, and saw that the house was a bare, open space with just the four outside walls. I stepped out again and I was standing on a rocky coastline with a heavy pink sea pounding at the rocks. I yelled out "Mama, don't go to that Three Dog Night show" and suddenly fireworks exploded in the sky. They were all silver. The silver shards moved through the sky, joined together and spelled out "Three cheers for Wilbur," but my name wasn't Wilbur. I stretched out my arms and flew up into the sky, and when I was about 200ft from the ground, I saw the airship. It was coming right for me but I didn't move. The cabin was inches from me, then I passed harmlessly through the wall. There was nothing inside the cabin except a piece of paper on the floor. There was writing on it. It said "I bid $89, love, Marilyn." I looked out the window, and the airship turned 90 degrees downwards and nosedived into the pink ocean, exploding on contact. Everything went black, and there was nothing more.