I was with my ex for almost half a year. At the start, we were both very happy and totally in love, convinced that we had found our soulmates. He was the sweetest nicest kindest person I know and I have NEVER felt that way about anyone before. But 3 months into the relationship, he started getting a lot of stress at work and suddenly went Ďblankí one day after a major work issue. We went to a psychiatrist together the following week and week after week the meds didnít work and kept changing. During this time, I was very skeptical about the effect of meds as I have read that they may cause people to become more depressed or suicidal.
During the time he was taking the meds, he would often say that he was getting blank and feeling dead like a zombie and even short term memory loss but I thought the depression was making him dwell on just the negative things and that it wasnít so bad. It was my fault for being complacent even when he said he started getting loss of emotion and inability to feel for anyone, even friends and family.
Things were still good and normal between us, or so I thought. One day he just suddenly told me he didnít feel like he loved me and that he has been faking it on certain days and he felt really guilty about it. This was after he stopped meds for about a week. I reacted really badly to it and walked out of his house. The next day I decided I wanted to be with him through the depression and see if itís just the depression speaking or if he really doesnít love me. He was adamant on taking a break and kept saying he felt very guilty. Throughout this time both of us were crying and I told him I would wait for him.
The following day he said he remembered what we were like and wants to have a go at the rs again, but the next day he broke down again saying he felt guilty and couldnít do it. The issues he mentioned was mostly guilt for not being able to feel for me and dragging me along with him in his bad situation and not being able to make me happy. Since then he has been taking meds on and off, but his condition seems to have gotten worse, including feeling blank, short term memory loss, brain fog, cognitive issues and even increasing suicidal thoughts.
It has been 2 months since we broke up and I am heartbroken not only at the fact that he is pushing me away but also that I canít be with him through all this. Initially he would accept that I was waiting for him but recently he suddenly texted and told me that he didnít want me to wait because he felt guilty and stressed out by it. I told him I wouldnít since it makes him feel worse and honestly I am almost losing it as well.
Sorry for the long post but I would like to know if anyone here has been through this situation and what the outcome is like? Do you/your partner eventually get better? I donít understand how this can suddenly happen but his family has a history of depression as well. I want to hold on silently but I don't know if it will be good for either of us.