My older sister E had a mental break down/ anxiety attack this april while i was away on vacation. I don't know much about what happened but it was serious enough that she took a month off work for disability and is now on daily anti depressents.
The reason i don't know much about what happened is because my sister refuses to talk to anyone about it, she doesn't even go to therapy. She went for a few sessions when it first started and then got on meds a few weeks later and has since given up on therapy and i believe on real healing.
The whole situation has our entire family depressed.
E has had some problems over the years that i think contributed to her depression, she was a hard partier, she drank a lot usually a couple of beers a day during the week and a total party binge on weekends, some bad break ups and unsatisfying relationships, and an abortion about a year ago, which she did not seek therapy for afterwards either.
Now that she is on meds some of that behaviour has stopped, she hardly ever drinks anymore and doesn't go out much, nor does she have a desire to date. She has gotten involved with big sisters and is back at work and taking courses at school and planning on going back to school in the new year to pursue a career of her choice.
However since the meds she also has trouble getting up in the morning and has gaine ALOT of weight, she must have gained 30+ pounds in the space of the month that she took off work and has since been unable and unwilling to do anything about it. About two months ago she joined jenny craig and was really dedicated about it but has since seemed to fall off the wagon. E was always a bit of a binge eater when she was upset, as we sometimes all are, but with the meds and a lack of exercise and the depression she binge eats alot lately, just last night she ate an entire package of cookies in an hour.
This really frieghtens me, E is the kind of person who is always smiling on the outside and never wants to talk about her problems so its very hard to outwardly tell if shes upset. But with the weight gain and the binge eating i can clearly see that she is in deep. I always want to say something to her but its hard, no one wants to be told to stop eating, it makes them feel fat, and i don't doubt she all ready feels that way and if i say anything it'll only make her feel worse.
But how long am i supposed to wait? Am i supposed to wait until she's morbidly obese and losing weight becomes a medical issue, a strain on her health and constant factor in her mental health?
It made feel so angry at her that i almost didn't want to be in the same room with her. Which is how my mother feels everyday, she's had a hard time coping with this too.
E also has trouble managing her money and has borrowed 10 000 dollars from my mother and has yet to pay it back and doesn't look like she will be any time soon what with her going to school soon. Whats worse, instead of paying my mom back she went on a trip to paris this year instead to make herself feel better.
My mother herself has sought out therapy to control her feelings of anger and frustration but still just locks herself away in her bedroom every night rather than face E.
I feel like E's depression and her refusal to talk about it and seek out real help is pushing all of us further apart and is making us all depressed. Which makes me even more angry and frustrated. Sometimes i just want to walk up to E and shake a god d**n answer out of her! To tell her to stop being so afraid of crying, of the pain, of the shame or whatever and f***ing tell us what her problem is so we can help her.
I've thought about going to therapy and asking my sister to come with me to get her in there and make sure she goes but I doubt if she would go. I feel like our family has to hold an intervention and do some group therapy at home just to get her some help.
What should I do? Last night was the last straw for me when i couldn't even sit in the same room with her. I'd made a batch of cookies and actually had to take them away from her so she wouldn't binge on them but she just went for something else instead. I know i've enabled her for awhile but i'm not willing anymore, she seems to be slipping backwards and it scares me how fast it all happened and where she might end up. i don't want this to be her life or my life forever but i on't know what to do.
Does anyone have any suggestions?
Thanks for listening.