What can I do?
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What can I do?

This is a discussion on What can I do? within the Troubled Loved Ones forums, part of the Depression Forums category; Hello, I am a new member. I read some of your posts and I am hoping that maybe you can ...

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Old 01-06-07, 07:37 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Default What can I do?

Hello, I am a new member. I read some of your posts and I am hoping that maybe you can help me out. I need some serious advice. I have a beautiful five month old daughter, but starting a little before she was born her fatherhas done nothing. He stays out until three of four in the morning, comes home like nothing is wrong, saying that he has been with his friends. Since she was born he has done hardly anything to help me, leaving me to depend on my parents until I could go back to work, all while I was living with him. On Thanksgiving, I left him after he left me all alone to spendmy day with no one after I got off work, and after all that, it seems that he expects me to be okay with everything that he does. I have no idea what to do anymore, even when we start doing better, something else happens. For a while he moved his friend and his friend's girlfriend (neither of which I like) into the house and then expected me to just be okay with it. Now we are arguing to a point where I have gotten my number changed and he calls my parents house, where I have moved back to until I can get back onto my feet (I was living with him) Now, after days of arguing, calls and asks if I want to go out with him like nothing was ever wrong. This happens all of the time. He has no respect for me, saying he is going to change and never does, he does nothing for our daughter, no daycare, no new clothes, no milk, no diapers, but then acts like she is the love of his life and so am I. How do I get through his head that you can say you love someone but if you don't show it then it means nothing? I am so hurt and so alone. Everytime I need him most, he is not there, just like a couple of months ago when I had to have surgery, he came a sat with me for about an hour, then promisedme that he would be there when I came out of surgery, but of course, he left with one of his friends, leaving me alone. I love him with all my heart, but I don't know what to do. I am torn between my love for him and the urge for my daughter to be with her father, and the slow hate I am building inside from all the hurt and pain that he has put me through. What should I do?
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Old 01-06-07, 07:46 PM   #2
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Nice to meet you! You might also want to introduce yourself, in Meet The Community, so all can say hello to you.

For your situtation, I'm truly sorry. I went through some of that, after I had a c-section, came home, & wanted to rest. My daughter's father, went outside & painted the house, then went out with the guys. I learned, through my own experience with that. You have to look out for you/your daughter. Maybe he's scared of the responsiblity that he has to you/his child? Have you tried getting into Counselling? That too is another option you can try. Some people, just don't want to handle their responsibilites; especially, when it's a child. There's a lot of resources out there to help you/your daughter. Remember, he's not going to change, so YOU must start looking out for you/your daughter dear.
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee

That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
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Old 01-06-07, 07:49 PM   #3
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i say leave him don't spend any more time on him you can get a court order for him to stay away from you i would find some one new

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