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suicidal girlfriend

This is a discussion on suicidal girlfriend within the Troubled Loved Ones forums, part of the Depression Forums category; My girlfriend, who is the most wonderful person I've ever met, is suicidal. She has very bad depression that only ...

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Old 07-02-13, 02:40 AM   #1
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My girlfriend, who is the most wonderful person I've ever met, is suicidal. She has very bad depression that only a couple people know about, and only I know about her being suicidal. The fact that I'm also suicidal makes it difficult for me to help her as much as I want to. I'm worried that I may be contributing to how she feels, even though she'd never admit it. We promised each other that neither of us would go through with anything without at least calling the other person and making sure they know beforehand, to call an ambulance or try to talk them out of it or whatever, but I'm just so goddamn scared that she's going to without saying anything and I won't be able to stop her. The thought of her dead makes me want to cry :( any advice would be very appreciated. I've talked her out of it twice and she's done the same for me a few times, and that is the most terrifying thing I've ever done
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Last edited by dizzyman; 07-02-13 at 02:42 AM.
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Old 07-02-13, 02:48 AM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzyman View Post
My girlfriend, who is the most wonderful person I've ever met, is suicidal. She has very bad depression that only a couple people know about, and only I know about her being suicidal. The fact that I'm also suicidal makes it difficult for me to help her as much as I want to. I'm worried that I may be contributing to how she feels, even though she'd never admit it. We promised each other that neither of us would go through with anything without at least calling the other person and making sure they know beforehand, to call an ambulance or try to talk them out of it or whatever, but I'm just so goddamn scared that she's going to without saying anything and I won't be able to stop her. The thought of her dead makes me want to cry :( any advice would be very appreciated. I've talked her out of it twice and she's done the same for me a few times, and that is the most terrifying thing I've ever done


it's very hard to know what to do in situations like that.

if it were me, i'd first try and talk to her and see if she'll open up about why she feels that way (you're the only person that knows, so quite possibly). i'd ask if their was anything i could do to help- and i would also ask how far she's planned ahead... does she have the means to do it, when is she thinking, that kind of thing

then, depending on those ansers, i might seek professional help for her

i think that you've agreed not to go through with anything without the other person knowing is a good sign

good luck

emily
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Old 07-02-13, 03:12 AM   #3
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Me and her have talked about this, and while it's an uncomfortable subject, we manage to be pretty open and honest with each other about it. She feels this way for many of the same reasons I do (minus the physical pain): major self esteem and self worth problems, very bad anxiety (her a lot worse, with very, very bad OCD), and she has to deal with things that I don't, like having bone abnormalities that limit everything she does, very bad OCD, certain family issues (her sister was raped), very bad bullying, where she lives (she's had neighbors who've committed suicide)... it's a long list.

I'm trying to get her to see a therapist or some professional, but her parents "don't believe in that." I wouldn't consider talking to her parents or anyone about it unless she actually attempted suicide (I've talked her out of attempting to beforehand instead of during, thank god). And there's no specific plan, but I've got a good idea of how she'd do it if she did.

She's promised not to as long as I don't (I haven't made that promise back) but I'm still worried.I can't stand the though of her killing herself
__________________
My whole life flashed in front of me
I saw everything that I was and what I had done
Even let me look back on some good times for a little fun
Yes, a little fun
And then I heard damn boy you done good
Did every little thing that you could
And then I heard damn boy you done good
Damn good

-Devildriver
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Old 07-02-13, 05:31 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dizzyman View Post
Me and her have talked about this, and while it's an uncomfortable subject, we manage to be pretty open and honest with each other about it. She feels this way for many of the same reasons I do (minus the physical pain): major self esteem and self worth problems, very bad anxiety (her a lot worse, with very, very bad OCD), and she has to deal with things that I don't, like having bone abnormalities that limit everything she does, very bad OCD, certain family issues (her sister was raped), very bad bullying, where she lives (she's had neighbors who've committed suicide)... it's a long list.

I'm trying to get her to see a therapist or some professional, but her parents "don't believe in that." I wouldn't consider talking to her parents or anyone about it unless she actually attempted suicide (I've talked her out of attempting to beforehand instead of during, thank god). And there's no specific plan, but I've got a good idea of how she'd do it if she did.

She's promised not to as long as I don't (I haven't made that promise back) but I'm still worried.I can't stand the though of her killing herself


it's very hard when families won't believe in meds and therapy.. and all that stuff. my family took the same kind of aproach, and i ended up having someone else having to find help for me without them knowing

could you do that?
if she agrees to the therapy, could you take her alone and keep it all confidential?

i think we're in a situation here where you're worried about her, but because the parents don't believe in the treatment, it makes it harder

you may have to go your own root

good luck.
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Old 01-06-14, 01:59 AM   #5
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She hasn't brought it up to her family yet, but it seems like she's made progress. But she could be hiding how she really feels because I've been getting worse physically and she doesn't want to worry me. She's admitted to doing that before
__________________
My whole life flashed in front of me
I saw everything that I was and what I had done
Even let me look back on some good times for a little fun
Yes, a little fun
And then I heard damn boy you done good
Did every little thing that you could
And then I heard damn boy you done good
Damn good

-Devildriver
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