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my mom

This is a discussion on my mom within the Troubled Loved Ones forums, part of the Depression Forums category; ok, maybe you should really not go there. especially the punching. i can see why you want to punch, though. ...

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Old 01-09-07, 12:29 AM   #131
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ok, maybe you should really not go there. especially the punching. i can see why you want to punch, though. the kind of shit you have to deal with would make anyone want to punch somebody. i want to punch somebody just thinking about it.
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Old 01-09-07, 12:32 AM   #132
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I have punched him before. I was mad at him and he was being a jerk and I just punched the hell out of him. I just dont want him getting mad and threatening me with a hospital or somethign liek that. I hate flipping out so I try not to but when I get really stressed I flip out. Its bad thats all I can say is its bad.
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Old 01-09-07, 12:36 AM   #133
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yes, i know what you mean. when i flip its bad too. i have to try not to flip, because then it gets loud and scary and dangerous for everybody. in the past when ive gone nuts i hurt people i loved too, it was really not good. im sorry that happens to you, it really sucks to get to that point. sometimes drinking some relaxing herbal tea is helpful if you know youre going to be going into a stressful situation, it can calm you down so you wont flip. at least it works that way with me.
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Old 01-09-07, 12:42 AM   #134
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Yeah it gets prety dangerous around here also. I loved to hurt peopel also but now I just try not to I guesse. I might try drinking some relaxation tea before I talk to him.
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Old 01-09-07, 12:45 AM   #135
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thats good that you are trying, i am trying too. its hard sometimes.
do you have a good tea blend that you like?
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Old 01-09-07, 12:47 AM   #136
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yeah it is hard sometimes. I actually dont avhe a tea blend I like what do you recommend?
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Old 01-09-07, 12:58 AM   #137
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for relaxation i would recommend a mellow blend, something light. i often drink a tea i make with scullcap, lemon balm, and oatstraw- i combine equal parts of all three herbs together into a blend, and then i take a teaspoonful or more of the mixture per cup and pour hot water over the loose tea leaves, let it steep for about fifteen minutes. its a good blend for stabilizing the emotions, relaxing the mind and nourishing the nervous system. i like it a lot.
another herb you could try if you wanted is plain old chamomile....its nice by itself, really relaxing and good for you.
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Old 01-09-07, 12:59 AM   #138
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I will try one of those thanks. I gotta talk to him before friday and Im stressing major about it
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Old 01-09-07, 03:18 AM   #139
 
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punk,

i missed this post and started to read through it. there's a lot here and i'm not sure what all has been covered. so just let me add my thoughts on the what you posed on the opening pages about your mom and visiting her.

first, let me say how sorry i am that your mom has lung cancer. this is so sad. second, it is typical for parents not to tell their children when they are going in for tests, only the results of the tests. it is to keep their kids from worrying until there is something to worry about. so don't feel too bad about that part of it - it's normal. i would do the same and not tell my son until i knew the answer.

as for your visit with her: you kept saying - several times - that you wondered if she would apologize to you, wanted her to apologize, knew she wouldn't apologize - and so on. what i'm hearing is that you need her to validate and recognize what she did to you. you need to hear her say it and apologize. i think that's fair and i think you deserve it. i think it will give you a sense of peace. i also think that you could be at peace WITH her if she gave you that one thing. i agree so much that you need to know that she is sorry.

i would give her the opportunity to say it, whether in a phone call or a visit, and if she doesn't, then i'd bring it up. i just tell her what you need and why. that may not be the way you want it to be, but it would be better than if you keep waiting and not getting what you need.

the inner part of you loves your mom and wants to be there for her. you just need this from her. i believe she will give it to you and make you feel better about it. but you may have to ask for it.

i feel so badly for you that you even have to wonder whether she will apologize or not. i'm sorry, sweetie.

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Old 01-09-07, 03:18 AM   #140
 
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punk,

i missed this post and started to read through it. there's a lot here and i'm not sure what all has been covered. so just let me add my thoughts on the what you posed on the opening pages about your mom and visiting her.

first, let me say how sorry i am that your mom has lung cancer. this is so sad. second, it is typical for parents not to tell their children when they are going in for tests, only the results of the tests. it is to keep their kids from worrying until there is something to worry about. so don't feel too bad about that part of it - it's normal. i would do the same and not tell my son until i knew the answer.

as for your visit with her: you kept saying - several times - that you wondered if she would apologize to you, wanted her to apologize, knew she wouldn't apologize - and so on. what i'm hearing is that you need her to validate and recognize what she did to you. you need to hear her say it and apologize. i think that's fair and i think you deserve it. i think it will give you a sense of peace. i also think that you could be at peace WITH her if she gave you that one thing. i agree so much that you need to know that she is sorry.

i would give her the opportunity to say it, whether in a phone call or a visit, and if she doesn't, then i'd bring it up. i just tell her what you need and why. that may not be the way you want it to be, but it would be better than if you keep waiting and not getting what you need.

the inner part of you loves your mom and wants to be there for her. you just need this from her. i believe she will give it to you and make you feel better about it. but you may have to ask for it.

i feel so badly for you that you even have to wonder whether she will apologize or not. i'm sorry, sweetie.

irishred
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