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This is a discussion on My Daughter within the Troubled Loved Ones forums, part of the Depression Forums category; Aries.... I am truly deeply sorry... I just read everything you wrote... all of it... Fuck... I feel like killing ...

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Old 12-05-06, 08:50 PM   #11
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Aries.... I am truly deeply sorry... I just read everything you wrote... all of it... Fuck... I feel like killing that son of a bitch... but... I am going to restrain myself.. getting mad... and just typing a ton of cuss words isnt going to help you.... I will pray for you and your daughter.. I am going to pray my hardest Aries... this isnt right... that fucking bastard should pay for what he did.. He should go to prison and get up the ass. Yeah... I am pissed... anyways... Sounds like you are handling this situation the best you can.... *hugs Aries* I am so sorry that happened and now you have to go through this.... I would take it away if I could....
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Old 12-05-06, 09:36 PM   #12
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Thanks Z, means a lot! It's another one of life's lesson's of School of Fort Knox! I just want her to be strong & not let this guy try to get to her; again, like he did last time. I'm actually handling it great right now; but I'm also not right in front of him either. Monday will be my own "trial" of how well I can restrain myself from doing something that's not right & showing my daughter that even though this man hurt her, I need to show support & restraint in my own actions. It can only show her, how she needs to also deal with this kind of person. It's sad that any child should/does go through this; but I'm hoping he doesn't walk away, like he got to last time. I was really irrate at the probation hearing; knowing he did that to her & I couldn't be in the room; this time, the "RULES" are in MY favor!

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Old 12-05-06, 11:00 PM   #13
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Quote:
I told her NOW is the time to get ANGRY/MAD at him for what he's done to her & put her through! I told her it's her turn to defend herself;
yes, now is her moment to do this. She needs to do this, if she dosen't she'll regret it forever. Your the mom, so you've got to do the thinking in this situation, don't leave it up to her. Watching her suffer through this process has to be unbelievably painful, but don't let her say no, you know best. Just be as kind and firm as possible and show her she can defend herself with digninty.

It's natural she wouldn't want her father there, to have to look at any man during this process esp. her father would be difficult; she probably dosen't want him to hear the story even though she knows he knows it already.

I'm so sorry Aries. It's terrible. I hope he gets put away for as long as possible and that your daughter can feel safe, and you can feel safe about her again someday.

When I was a child a believed that adults knew how to behave and do the right thing. Well I've realized that a person can look, talk and act like an adult and a decent human being but really they are a monster, that sometimes people just never do become what we imagine an adult to be. It took me this long to truly realize that. It's just the way it is and I'm sorry for you and your daughter.

Wish you the best possible outcome.
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Old 12-05-06, 11:22 PM   #14
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i'm sorry aries for you and your daugthter she should not have to go threw this, it's not right she shouldn't even have to go to trail he is putting her threw it again kind of i'm so sorry i'm glad she is getting some help it will make all the diferents in the world i was sexualy abuse as a kid and my mom made me see her doc about it i'm not sure how long i saw him but i can tell it helped down the road it helped alot i hope she can get the same kind of help i hope thearpy helps her as much as it has helped me again i am sorry
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Old 12-06-06, 10:18 AM   #15
 
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A,

I think the relationship between your daughter and her father is why she doesn't want him there. She doesn't find comfort in him for the most part and their relationship does not seem particularly close. The topic of the trial is one where having those closest to us is helpful; but for those who are not, it would seem strange.

I think her dad should be there because he is her dad. She may not "want" him there, but in all, I think she will secretly be glad that he is.

I'll continue to keep you guys in my thoughts and we can continue to talk about it.

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Old 12-06-06, 11:36 AM   #16
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Thanks everybody for your kind/thoughtful replies.

It's going to be hard week, weekend, & begining of next week. I know the maxium he can get is 40 yrs., but since he has no priors-been doing my own "checking" up on him, he may not even get 5! Which just makes me sick! The ONLY comfort that I get out of any of this; he'll have to be a registerd Sex Offender for LIFE! But, checked into that, he HAS to register for it; if he doesn't then he can go to prision; which is where I want him anyways!

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Old 12-06-06, 12:06 PM   #17
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Aries I know this may be of little comfort to you but he will receive the same thing he dished out even if he only gets a few months in jail. Sex offenders, especially against children are most often made into, well to be blunt, prison bitches. Their crime is so putrid that they are even hated by the condemned.
Trust me, I know, I have friends and have had friends that have done time, not for abusing someone though, drug related. He will get just punishment in prison for what he did. Yes, he should get more time but the time he does spend it prison is going to be most assuredly hell. I hope that reminding you of this gives you some solace. If I could I would sentence him to life, that is what all these dirt bags deserve.
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Old 12-06-06, 12:13 PM   #18
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I've heard that too Z. What bothers me the most, is how his 2 youngest kids are going to have to be without a father. I know that sounds weird, considering what he did to my daughter. I know that one of his is almost 2 going on 3 & the other one is 6 I believe. His wife, oh, now that's different! She attended the revocation probation hearing; the whole time giving me dirty looks! All I could think about was going over to her, beating the crap out of her; but then there were too many guards, so my anger just grew while I was waiting for my daughter. Then, all said & done & my daughter was crying & she was told he was found not guilty, the smirk she gave me! She was lucky that I didn't go after her; right then & there! I know I'll have to see her again, when court comes on Monday, lets just hope that my meds keep me calm, cool, & collected.

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Old 12-06-06, 12:28 PM   #19
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Bide that angry Aries and use it as fuel, only a fool releases their anger in it's purest form. A wise man uses anger as a flu, as a drive to help you think, plan, and eventually triumph. Anger accomplishes nothing, planning does. You will win this Aries, your daughter will have justice, just keep that goal in mind and don't let your anger get the better of you. It is better that they DONT have a father then have a father like that... I mean.. what would stop him from abusing them too?!?!?! You are saving them form a horrible fate, remember that. Idk what the hell is up with his wife but this bastard is going to pay, you can be sure of that! Pay no heed to her, he may be lying to her and she may be believing him.....
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Old 12-06-06, 07:03 PM   #20
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Oh, I'm sure he's claiming his innocents to her; but it's all a lie! He really needs to get what's coming! Now, tomorrow we have to go see the DA. I'm going to inquire what kind of "deal" they gave him, he turned down. I want to know what they're asking from the Jury; how many years! It will be an interesting day. Plus today, my daughter just got a job! I'm happy, but it's already going to cause her conflicts with her having this new job!

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