Good morning everyone.
Just to give a little background. My oldest son, who is 25 years old now, started using the internet/gaming when he was about 18 years of age, ever since then he has secluded himself to his room and has really been non-productive in any field. He has not finished his education in the computer science field and I don't know from one day to the next if he is still attending school. There are days when he is suppose to be in school but informs me that classes were either canceled or he has them online, there is no way for me to check up on him since he is no longer a minor.
My husband, who is not his biological father, but has been in my son's life since he was 10 years old, works in the medical field and has diagnosed him as depressed and addicted to gaming which can, and I am sure has, made my son's depression worse. My son just lost eligibility to be covered under our insurance plan because he turned 25 this year. My son has no interest in getting on his own insurance plan, in general he has no interest in anything other than sitting in front of the computer and sleeping. There are days where he sleeps 12 hours and then there are other days where he is an insomniac. He is very overweight and often only eats one large meal a day just to not feel hungry. He doesn't help around the house, has very poor hygiene, doesn't keep his room clean and is generally not involved with any activities. His energy levels are non-existent. He complains of back pain, knee pains and overall physical ill feeling. He doesn't talk much to anyone in this house, gets angry easily and lashes out and is generally not a pleasant person to be around.
I am at a complete loss. Don't really know how to help him, where to start. I constantly remind myself that it's an illness and that it's not my son's fault, however, I do feel angry most of the time that the burden of many of these things have fallen on my shoulder, which in turn leaves me depressed and angry.
This coming week my husband, my daughter and my youngest son are going on a short 4 day vacation. During this time I would like to dedicate myself to trying to figure out how I can help my son make a first step into getting himself better. I would like for him to just make one small step and do something outside of our home. Go out to dinner, motivate him to take a walk perhaps, talk to him about depression which we already have and he's very well aware of it. This young man is incredibly smart and had a lot of us fooled for some time by saying he was just lazy, but we know better now. I wish we had figured this out sooner.
If you all have any other suggestions in regard to how I can help my son to get his life back I would be very appreciative.
In hindsight I should have gotten on this a lot sooner, but I am not going to beat myself up over "what if" but need to deal with this now.
Again, I know it's an illness, I know it's not my son's fault and I definitely don't blame him. I do have to admit saying the wrong things to him before, blaming him for being lazy, for having a temper, I regret that but now need to move forward. All I am interested in is helping my boy.
Thanks in advance,