I'm worthless
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I'm worthless

This is a discussion on I'm worthless within the Troubled Loved Ones forums, part of the Depression Forums category; I have a friend that has been suicidal off and on for the last 6 months or so. I have ...

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Old 07-19-06, 09:19 PM   #1
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Default I'm worthless

I have a friend that has been suicidal off and on for the last 6 months or so. I have a tendency to get suicidal as well, but generally I find another outlet for the problem (not healthy ones but better than being dead I guess). The problem is...I have done everything I can for this person, but I'm not helping. He has tried to OD 4 times in the last month. I came home today to find him passed out on the couch, and empty bottle of xanex (there were 70 this morning), a shot glass, and a pipe (for pot). After he came around we talked, and he said he just couldn't die, no matter what he did. He even went so far as to ask me if I would kill him. He can't get help because he doesn't have insurance and the only hospital that will take him is really horrible, and he refuses to ever go back there ( i can't blame him for that). So, to sum it up, I'm basically waiting to come home and find him dead one day, or to watch the news about a man jumping off a bridge. I suffer from depression as well, and watching him is only bringing me down. No matter what I try nothing helps. I love him with all my heart, he is such a wonderful person, but he is having a hard time right now. He's justified in being upset. He's 23, lost a job due to having anxiety attacks. They won't let him return to work until he has a release order from the DR. The Dr won't release him. He applied for disability 5 months ago, and his case is still pending. He doesn't have a home (he lives in between my house and another friend of his). His cell phone is about to be turned off, his car is going to be reposessed on Friday. Even from my viewpoint, things don't look like they're getting any better from him. I just don't know what else to do.
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Old 07-19-06, 09:31 PM   #2
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jaxcutie, the best thing you can do for him is be there for him and listen to him and keep reminding him that he is not alone, and maybe too, remind him that material things can be replace, life cannot. I have been up and down and without a home and it's very scarywhen you see everything being "take away", it's big adjustment.

I have a friend who had panic attacks and it is very well managed now with meds and therapy, so it isn't necessarily a life crippling thing.
It might be a big effort but try to get him involved in something to take his mind of his problems.

Maybe he should try to get a job on the side while he is waiting; he shouldn't wait for the system to catch up; the system is perpetually fixing it's flat tires on the side of the road--it is a system of incompetence, a perpetually breaking machine.
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Old 07-26-06, 06:46 PM   #3
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My friend went to TN with me. I believe I posted about it on another forum. He is gay, and his boyfriend broke up with him about 3 months ago. He's got a lot of crappy circumstances surrounding him right now, but the biggest things seems to be his ex. He just can't get over him. He has tried to kill himself several times in the past month, and it just doesn't work. I told him it wouldn't because apparently it isn't God's will for him to die right now. He called last night and asked if I would help him die. I said no, and asked him to come over. He said he wouldn't. I called back and told him to let me come get him, or I would have to call the police. He came home with me, and felt better within a couple hours. My question is...how can I help him get over his ex? He is bipolar, so one day he's fine, the next he's suicidal. I just dont' know what else to do to help him.
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Old 07-26-06, 07:30 PM   #4
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I like the idea that tiggrr gave you to give your friend, there's IS a lot of side jobs that pay cash. Also correct on just being there for this person, no matter how long it takes, I've been waiting for SSD for 1 1/2 yrs, but with your friend's circumstances, they might just decide that it would be awarded, which will help out with the money problems. For the car, hey, I'm going through all of that now, but I will ask, did this person have to show up in court? They can't just take the car away(I use to do repos, foreclosures)so I know a lot about the laws, even in different states. Telling your friend that you're the same way to might help, it might help in the fact that it could "push" you too, we don't want that either. You need to let this person know, time & time again.........I'm your friend, I'm hear, but quit doing this to not only yourself, but me too....I do care! Maybe that might help or try to do things that might be fun, ie....going to an Arcade & blowing things up, gets some stress out of both of your lives & have a fun time doing it & spending the time together! Just a suggestion.


Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee

That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
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Old 07-26-06, 09:58 PM   #5
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So, to sum it up, I'm basically waiting to come home and find him dead one day, or to watch the news about a man jumping off a bridge. I suffer from depression as well, and watching him is only bringing me down.
sweetie! why do you say that you are worthless in this situation? you are an ANGEL!! you are risking your own health for another's. you are giving a friend a place to stay, your attention and love, and your worry. you are far far far from worthless!!

but - i do believe - and you aren't going to want to hear this - that he needs to go. you are in a fragile enough state yourself, or were, and you are climbing back up. you need all of the strength you can to keep yourself alive and healthy. the requirements of friendship are not sacrificing one's own life or mental health for the others. it means getting them what help you can, then letting go.

i know, i know - he has nowhere else to go. there is surely a shelter, the hospital he hates, or family or something. the hospital would be better than homeless and he is in really no position to be choosy about that. that sounds harsh, but you cant continue to do this. there's nothing you can do to help him, no matter how hard you try. the above statement about coming home to find a potential dead person is NOT what you need.

you have been a true and faithful friend to him. that's all you can do.

i feel for your situation, truly. i have a bipolar/personality disorder friend and if she doesnt find work, she wants to live with me. i love her to pieces, but i know my limits and what i need to keep my life sane. and i know i cant deal with her illness day in and day out unless i want my life to go down the tubes. so i know my turn is coming. then you can give it back to me!

stay the course of jax's health, happiness, and future.

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