Help please
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Help please

This is a discussion on Help please within the Troubled Loved Ones forums, part of the Depression Forums category; i need some help. its not be, but its a loved one. she has multiple personality disorders and constantly needs ...

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Old 07-24-06, 12:26 AM   #1
 
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Default Help please

i need some help. its not be, but its a loved one. she has multiple personality disorders and constantly needs attention and im not always there to give it to her and when im not she begins to break down mentally and if i dont complement her or something she thinks i hate her. she is afraid of about everything and has OCD and her parents constantly fight and never stop. she has to cry herself to selep every night. and she is also bulimic and she constantly needs my compliments to keep her from throwing up. i need as many comments on what to do as possible because i dont know what to do any more. please help
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Old 07-24-06, 08:53 PM   #2
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Default help please

You are not able to be there for your friend and give yourself the time that you need is what it sounds like. You are trying to save her by yourself. I think that you should try and get some professionals involved. Niether you or her can make her parents stop fighting. It is a hard thing to accept but we can't be responsible for eveyone else. And I know that my saying that sounds cruel, I just hope that you take it with the love that it is sent with.

You friend is very lucky to have you. Try and introduce her to others. I know that this can be very difficult when there are mental health issues. But by finding others to help will take some of the pressure off of you and help her to trust others and to believe the positive things that you tell her.

Hope that this helps a little :)
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Old 07-24-06, 09:33 PM   #3
 
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you are not responsible for your friend's health and well-being. do what you can within "normal" limits, then let go of it. i know that sounds harsh, but it is not your job to sacrifice your life for hers. what she needs is WAY beyond your control, help, or influence. your life will start to decline if you try to make hers good. because she has these very powerful and difficult disorders, you will never be able to make her completely happy. you will always feel like there is more you should/could do and she will make you feel that way also.

she needs a lot of help from professionals and her parents need to get help for what they contribute to her situation. it is all too much for you, though.

set your limits and boundaries, such as "i will call her every morning and talk for 15 minutes" or morning and evening. "I will go visit with her every other day for 30 minutes." "I will give her 3 compliments and that is it."
when you set limits/boundaries, you give yourself the freedom to know that you did all you could. you also let her know that you did what you could and she will soon appreciate that 15 minutes or 3 compliments more. if she doesnt, that's fine; you will know you did your part.

good luck. i know it's hard, but your life is about you, not her.

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