Girlfriend suffering - Page 2
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Depression Forums > Troubled Loved Ones


Girlfriend suffering

This is a discussion on Girlfriend suffering within the Troubled Loved Ones forums, part of the Depression Forums category; To be honest it sounds like you need to see where each of your priorities lie for the future together ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 12-13-17, 10:27 AM   #11
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: South America
Posts: 596
My Mood:
Default

To be honest it sounds like you need to see where each of your priorities lie for the future together - if there is one, as she seems to be closed to you two being together "publicly". This makes me wonder if it's also to keep things open to the other partners or exes? I can't say what motives are, but it wouldn't sound good to me (my current partner began our relationship saying one day she might stray, I told her clearly for me it would be over if that happens).

I don't know, to me it just seems controlling, keeping you for what she wants and denying what she doesn't want. If you don't clear the air about what you want and get her to clarify her side, she'll just continue using you.
__________________
Do not listen to a word I say
Just listen to what I can keep silent
The only way to gain approval
Is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me
Andino is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-17, 10:49 AM   #12
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 11
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andino View Post
To be honest it sounds like you need to see where each of your priorities lie for the future together - if there is one, as she seems to be closed to you two being together "publicly". This makes me wonder if it's also to keep things open to the other partners or exes? I can't say what motives are, but it wouldn't sound good to me (my current partner began our relationship saying one day she might stray, I told her clearly for me it would be over if that happens).

I don't know, to me it just seems controlling, keeping you for what she wants and denying what she doesn't want. If you don't clear the air about what you want and get her to clarify her side, she'll just continue using you.
She has known where I stand for sometime. Her on the other hand she has no idea. When we are apart she says its less stress, but she misses me because i'm her best friend. When we are together she gets confused and her mind messes with her. she thinks I'm off talking to other people. She goes through my social media. I spelled my sister name wrong in a text and she questioned who I was talking about. Her confusion lies with loving me and wanting to be with me and not wanting to be with me due to our past and how she acts. She will make up her mind and from 1week-2or3months change it back. At this point it has happened so many times I chalk it up as par for the course. I'm currently working a full-time job with Johnson and Johnson, I'm an affiliate for a popular supplement company selling their products, and I'm taking courses to become a personal trainer/fitness nutrition specialist. She on the other hand is a waitress/bartender/manager at a restaurant. Which her management position was only to cover the holidays. Her boss has given her less management hours and more waitress/bartender hours. Again which can attribute to her current depression as well. she has less income. She has dropped out of college 3 times now since weve been together. In 3 years she has had 14 different jobs. Unfortunately she follows directly in her mothers footsteps. Her mom now lives at her bf place(hes the same age as me) nd he works 60+ hr a week to provide while her mom barely does a thing. He has complained to me numerous times about it. Her mom also drinks every night mostly box wine or a bottle wine.

Last edited by BEssFitness; 12-13-17 at 10:51 AM.
BEssFitness is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-17, 07:43 PM   #13
Member
 
kh440's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 826
My Mood:
Default

I get it. My story is awfully similar to yours, maybe not to the same extremes but I can definitely relate. It's been a ten year roller coaster through hell with "Louise": one day I walk on water the next I'm the antichrist. Can't move forward but can't quite move on either. She knows how I felt and still feel if I have to be honest. Problem is she doesn't seem to care.

The point to all of this is it has taken me ten years to realize that the way things are is the way they will continue to be unless I do something about it. It sucks letting go of someone that you truly believed was "the one" but it sucked worse hanging on to the fantasy of something that just was never going to happen.
__________________
"Sometimes it's better not to touch your dreams."
(Hank Moody)
kh440 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-17, 12:36 AM   #14
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 11
Default

I've gotten to the point that it has happened so often I'm no longer phased. It bothers me more that she sees what she does but does nothing to change it. She has such great potential yet wont use it whatsoever. Shes even joked to me a few times about becoming a stripper..... Ive had some girlfriends before do that.
BEssFitness is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-17, 02:53 PM   #15
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 11
Default

So since all of this has gone down I have felt myself slowly slipping away. I believe I have fallen into a MAJOR SEVERE depression spout. I no longer have the drive that I once did. My sleeping habits are horrible!! I have lost my appetite. My love for the gym and working out is gone. I no longer do my school work. I either sit on my phone until 3 in the morning or I'm on the computer or I'm doing both. My anger has also started to come back.
BEssFitness is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-27-17, 03:12 PM   #16
Member
 
kh440's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 826
My Mood:
Default

That's more or less normal, especially for this time of year. All changes, even the most longed for and the most necessary, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves. Truth be told my Christmas wasn't the same without "Louise" either.

It's been a hard lesson to learn but one undeniable truth of life is just because you truly love(d) someone doesn't mean they deserve(d) it. Allow yourself some time to process everything, and even lick your wounds so to speak. In the meantime just force yourself to get out of bed and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

It's going to suck for awhile, but it does get better. Just give yourself some time
__________________
"Sometimes it's better not to touch your dreams."
(Hank Moody)
kh440 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-30-17, 12:52 AM   #17
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 11
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by kh440 View Post
That's more or less normal, especially for this time of year. All changes, even the most longed for and the most necessary, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves. Truth be told my Christmas wasn't the same without "Louise" either.

It's been a hard lesson to learn but one undeniable truth of life is just because you truly love(d) someone doesn't mean they deserve(d) it. Allow yourself some time to process everything, and even lick your wounds so to speak. In the meantime just force yourself to get out of bed and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

It's going to suck for awhile, but it does get better. Just give yourself some time
It has nothing to do with the "loss" of her so to speak. I've gotten over that. I just have an overwhelming amount of things piling up and I don't know where to start. For as much as I try to get ahead I fall even further behind.
BEssFitness is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-17-18, 11:26 PM   #18
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 11
Default

So things in life have gotten some what straightened out.
BEssFitness is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:16 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2