I read your original post and it is similar to my situation. My husband was diagnosed officially about 3 months ago..however he suffered from various degrees of depression for years. However, it got really bad about 18months ago..and it was only recently that he asked for help.
One thing I've learned is that you can't force them to get the help they need. I tried that..didn't work. I also learned to get therapy for myself. When my husband wouldn't go, I went along. Now he is going alone, and with me too. I also see a therapist on my own.
I was told that depression not only affects the person with it, but the others closest to them too. I can feel that and it sucks.
I just found this site, and am seeking as much help with this as I can get. It's a roller coaster, painful and so very difficult to get through the day sometimes.