Clearly I am late to find this post so I hope you come back and read still.
I was married to a sailor for 5 years whose depression and another condition really sundered the relationship. I have been divorced for 5 years and miss him still to be honest... but I think that depression alone really, really does make a person lose interest in you while they are going through that. In my marriage with my husband going through that as well as for myself when I have been depressed, I have experienced that it comes back when the depression lifts. Sometimes there is a change in how we interact especially at first. It is almost a subdued feeling to the love when the person climbs out of the depression. They still love but it sort of has to 'warm up' again after a person gets back to feeling more like him/herself.
You are very strong and determined to hold it all together like you are. I applaud your diligence, love and devotion to your family and spouse. Stay strong...
We have to become creative problem solvers, not just tolerant burden barers.