Depressed girlfriend first trying push me away, now ignoring me
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Depressed girlfriend first trying push me away, now ignoring me

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Old 12-09-14, 02:08 PM   #1
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Default Depressed girlfriend first trying push me away, now ignoring me

I've come to terms that my girlfriend suffers from depression from time to time and i think she's constantly feeling down and she says she suffers from no self esteem. Which i find totally normal with the work she has, her job is making her body be in constant pain and beat down. And when she gets home she has to be caretaker for her mum after a hand surgery. And her mum neglects her and never let her talk to her mum about her problems and pains. So she usually just wants to isolate herself with games on the computer(this is a LDR btw, so we often share good moments with gaming).

So for third time in 3 months she's been trying to push me away saying i should find someone better than her. Other things she said also was that i'd get sick of her shit sooner or later, and she thought she was always the reason why relationships she has had before had ended, but i said i would be with her through thick and thin and she meant the world to me. But she just claimed me to be blind for the moment, and that sooner or later i would get tired of her shit and thati should find someone more stable. This was the start of her 2nd period of clear depression we been through together.

Just the day before, we had a deep conversation where she admitted to having little to no self-esteem(i kind of sensed that from before), so like always i have done my fair share of complimenting on my own will, and when she fishes for it. I said i would be patient with her, and that together we would build each other up. Which she seemed to dig, and i told her she was an amazing/incredible person which she responded "you too:)" to. So i thought everything were fine, until the sunday happened.

So i might be too pushy also, because one of the things she talked to me about when she really felt down at sunday was the strike going on in her area, that she wouldnt be able to financially get through it, if the strike caused her days without work. And she said she had to work till she was 70 before going off with retirement. So i started saying it might not happen, if we end up living together(we shared that vision for the future that we both want that before she went depressive) and that we would be good on saving and things. So that's when it all happened as explained earlier on that she pushed me away and she meant i should find someone more stable and me going on reassuring her and told her how much she mattered to me.

On monday i think she was totally down in her pitch black hole though, it was nothing more than a hi, and i put my pride away and said sorry for the sunday. And she responded like "Sorry for what? You did nothing." and i just said i should done differently, and tried to cheer her up instead. Like i said that meaning i was thinking i was too pushy on her. And as of today i sent her just a message "hi hun :) i hope you're feeling better today" with a heart and sent a picture shortly after. But no response.

So what i'm wondering is. Has she totally blocked me away from her life now and ignoring me that way and doesn't want me around anymore? or should i just give her space for some days, so she can work on herself and get some peace, then let her contact me again? or what would be the best to do in a situation like this?
bobbyy92 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-14, 10:54 PM   #2
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She probably hasn't blocked you and most likely reads everything you send her. Even if she has blocked you for now, she certainly will go look at some point in the near future to see how you reacted to it; most likely trying to inflict emotional pain on herself if her silence upset you or telling herself that she's all alone if you didn't send anything and that you are better off without her.

I'd suggest sending her emails every 2-3 days where you tell her how much she means to you and to remind her of her good qualities and promises of a brighter future. The goal is to implant the idea that your resolve isn't going to stop no matter what and that you'll be there for her even if she isn't there for herself without smothering her with it.
lucid lunacy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-15, 09:52 PM   #3
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As someone who suffers from depression, I've done the same thing as your girlfriend. I hate myself for what I put my boyfriend through sometimes, and when I'm not as sad, I look back at the things I said/did and I get embarrassed so I don't really talk about it. I don't really have much advice to give other than just be there for her. I know it's very general but I honestly don't think she WANTS to push you away, she's just telling herself things like "he deserves better, I'm useless, no one should have to deal with me". Talking about how she feels could help to some extent.
blackonblack is offline   Reply With Quote

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