This is my forst ever post on this site, and the first time Ive talked about this...
My husband was recently diagnosed with depression, he is taking anti depressants called Sertraline and is waiting for an appoinment with a psychiatrist to whom he's been referred.
First off - anyone any experience with Sertraline?
Now then he has all the clear symptoms of depression, won't eat, can't sleep (but all he wants to do is sleep), lack of personal hygiene, no sex drive, slow speach, indecisiveness, no motivation, no zest for life and generally a very far fetch from who he used to be.
I am no stranger to depression, having very severe depression on and off for thirteen years in my past and being hospitalized countless times for the harm I did to myself. However I finally found an amazing therapist and am how a very lucky person to be in control of my feelings, to be able to laugh and cry without considering I could be hitting an extreme. (All of this happened before I met my husband).My parents also have had depression for the length of my life.
However, Ive not known anyone had depression and be as nasty as he can be to me. I am sticking by him because I feel obliged and do love him, however most people would have got up and gone. Because of this "label" of depression he has I feel it's my wifely duty to just take it.
Being there myself with depression, I know for one I did not have the motivation to be nasty, I did not have the self confidence to be nasty and due to the depression I would not have said boo to a goose, because I hd such low self worth, which is what I presume happens in everyone when they have depression. Am I wrong???
The way he neglects me, and when he does rarely talk to me it is so disrespectful, the way he does not touch me or have a sex drive or ever say or do anything which could constitute a relationship - my friends have asked if he's having an affair when I tell them he won't go near me, and personally I find it hard to accept he has depression and that this new label is just an excuse for him.
That sounds so awful doesnt it, I have all the sympathy in the world for people with depression but I just feel its an excuse for him. Could this be because I don't want him to have depression because I am finally happy and want to have a happy life ? I don't knoiw. I just feel he's acted this way for two years but only this month has seen the doctor and had the diagnosis and that it is just his new reason for being a nasty piece of work to me.
Please advise - has anyone else with depression pushed away their loved ones and treated them disrespectfully etc
Has anyone with loved ones seen them act like this towards them?
I feel like Im really putting myself out there by sticking by him him when he treats me as he does and really can't aknowledge any nice feelings towards him. I need to know if this is normal depressive beheviour- in which case I'll find the strength to carry on supporting him and hope when he gets better so too does our relationship. But if you guys feel it is unrelated to the depression then I really have to think whats best for me and our one year old daughter (who he completely neglects too).
If you have found that depression = "nastyness" what are your tips , thoughts and advice?
Honesty much appreciated
Thansk in advance of replies