So I had the first check over things today with psychologist and it seemed pretty much as expected. Went over many basics, missed others, and she listened.
She said I need to see the psychiatrist for medications, and to begin a course of therapy, to address childhood abuses - with that she said all the more recent stuff will be so much easier to deal with.
I left feeling a bit empty, nothing felt advanced in any way. Went back to head doctor and he noted he will be in touch with reference of psychiatrist and psychologist.
Thing is, all afternoon and to now, I have felt steadily worse about it all. I feel really uncomfortable and don't think I want the therapy side. I'm ok with talking but don't know what I'm supposed to get out of it, kt doesn't make me feel good - the opposite in fact, digging up wounds and feelings I don't want and I don't feel are affecting me now. Sure, they gave me my depression but that's a part of me now.
With the violence of my ex I had to do these small psychological checks which were similar to this today. They all said I needed immediate therapy and I came out shaking and feeling worse.
I am very interested to know what medications might do for me, but not the therapy.
Is this wrong??