My Phychiatrist makes me feel like taking my own life.
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My Phychiatrist makes me feel like taking my own life.

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Old 05-21-18, 04:22 PM   #1
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Default My Phychiatrist makes me feel like taking my own life.

This is a bit of a longey, sorry. Had a meeting today with my Phychiatrist. This is the third one I have had with him and I think it will be my last. He asks me how I was, so I explain I have felt suicidal and planned to take my own life that day. I said I felt a little better after seeing my counsellor, but still vulnerable. I went into detail about what caused all this and stuff. He nodded, but said nothing of consequence. He then asked me what I wanted to do in regards to treatment. How the hell should I know. I'm not a Phychiatrist. He then suggests a thing called Complex Needs.This is an 18 month course. Well they call it a course, but it is actually just group therapy that I've done already and didn't work. In typical NHS fashion, if you're not cured in 18 months, tough. Better go kill yourself, because we don't care. This is what happened to me the last time I did group therapy with the NHS. Got kicked out because my time was up. Relapsed, because there was ABSOLUTELY NO after care. Went back to the NHS to ask for help as I was still having severe problems. Got told the only way I would get help was if I paid for it privately. I have had this all my life from the NHS (the N standing for NO). Now my Phychiatrist just nods at what I say. Gives me this leaflet and tells me there is a 1 year waiting list for the treatment. I say about my not being able to work and my paid sick period only lasting 6 months (which is very good, I know, but it isn't a freaking Year). I try to explain that I can't return to work, work is part of the problem. If I return to work, I will probably try to kill myself again. He dismisses or ignores everything I say about this. My CPN is no better. Says nothing except, it will get better one day. If that is all he has to say, then I could probably get a text to speech program to say that to me, with more feeling too. I left my Phychiatrist feeling far worst than I did when I went in. Wanting to kill myself, because that would be a more tolerable experience than seeing him again. Thankfully I did not harm myself, yet. Anyone else from the UK who has found the NHS pathetically useless when it comes to treating mental health in adults?
Four of my friends have said the treatment they recieve from the NHS has been appalling and some of them have said it made them worse. Three of these use the same Adult Mental Health Team as I do.
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Old 06-15-18, 02:18 AM   #2
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That's horrible. I've had some bad therapists in the past. I used to move from one to the next once I realized one wasn't checked in, or made an ugly, critical remark, or was more or less a crackpot. I've dealt with all of these on and off. I think it might actually be pretty common, but it sounds like in your situation you can't do much to pick and choose, and I'm really sorry for that. Sure, it might very well get better "someday" but in the HERE and NOW, the darkness seems endless, doesn't it?? We need someone to help lead us to the right path. Not just say, "Well, I'm out of suggestions. Good luck out there!" if you hadn't already tried all of these things.

I live in a country right now that treats depression and other mental illness like it's something shameful, to be brushed under a rug. Thanks to that attitude, there are a lot of undiagnosed sick people who are not getting the help they need, and are out there making their lives, and the lives of everyone around them miserable. I don't have a chance, where therapy is concerned, not just because of this denial, but because of the language barrier. I can speak the local language on a functional level, but where it comes to describing my feelings...maybe not so great. Those native English speakers who have come here and opened shop do not take insurance, and gouge the crap out of the vulnerable, and I won't be promoting that by helping them line their wallets. So far, I just do the best I can my own way.

I realize you posted this quite a while ago, and I'm only new here so I've only just seen it, but I hope you might see this reply and take a little comfort in that you're not alone. So many of us need help we can't get for one reason or other. Hopefully we can stand together and stay strong in spite of it all! :) Hope to hear back from you, and that you're hanging in there and doing alright!
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Old 06-18-18, 03:05 AM   #3
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I am glad you are leaving. Focus on yourself and try to find a non a-hole therapist. Iíve seen so many and each one has been truly awful and traumatic...
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Old 06-28-18, 10:42 AM   #4
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Are you going to reject the 18-month thing? I wonder what else they have up their sleeves. MIght be worth trying to find out.

I am thinking maybe collective self-help is the only answer. More than 1 western country has the same thing -- stigmatization and penalizes those reporting psychological/mental illness. I think I'm going to start looking for local groups that support their members in mindfulness, or self-help, whatever I can find.

Klem was one of my favorite characters on Buffy. nice
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