So many bad things happened in the last 6 years. Some of them happened way before, but I was in denial until recently.
Failure after failure, betrayal after betrayal..I keep tryin to get up from being in the position on my knees. I cry, I complain, I vent, I get angry, motivated, enthusiastic and I fight for my life. I keep trying so hard, but nothing seems to work out. And I try to be patient and persistent to push through this storm, hoping that after storm there is rainbow. The darkness can not last forever, it is supposed to change for light, even if for a little bit.
But all I see is time going by and no progress for me. Only aging process is up to date.
And then some little thing set you off, like when your boss asks you to return to the job, that you quit and then 2 weeks later tells you, he doesn't have work for you. I guess he just wanted to be the one to say the last word, he couldn't stand that I quit, he had to be the one to let me go. He didn't even care to call me, or answer my phone call. He sent a text msg at 2 am!!
Or your ex sends you a link where they wrote an article about him and his success, to show, how stupid I was to leave him and how his life is wonderful even without me in it.
These are all minor. I think. But what do you do with these "minor things" that rain on you every freakin day?? How do you stay sane? How do you keep fighting your failures and depression?
How do you keep going? Where do you get the fuel? I am running out of it...