Hi, thanks for taking the time to read this. Lately I've been really depressed. I'm 22 years old and live with my parents. I was homeless for a year. I graduated high school too late. I have nothing, every day I spend sitting inside and I feel like life is just flying by while I do NOTHING. My skills are behind everyone else's. I found out I have asperger's, a form of autism. I'm the most forgetful person I know. For example, I used to pack boxes at a warehouse. We had to change stickers on boxes sometimes and too often I'd forget to put a sticker on, I tried so hard every time to remember, but still I'd put the wrong sticker on or completely forget to put a sticker on altogether. I'm just plain dumb, stupid mistakes I can't even remember what sticker to put on a box. I think it could either be my asperger's or maybe I just have so much negativity in the back of my head so I make mistakes.
I'm 22 years old and have nothing. I have extreme anxiety, no friends, no money, no car, no life, no job anymore, and I feel like it's too late to go out and enjoy life. Everybody I went to school with is going to have their bachelor's degree by now, they're all smart and have friends.
I've been contemplating suicide for a bit now, I've almost tried once, but I've never had the guts to do actually follow all the way through with it yet. I don't know what to do. I want to move to Chicago and go to college and have a life but I feel like I've been left in the dust by everyone already. I don't have enough money to get a place to live, drive to college, etc. I don't know how to do it. And if I can't do it then I don't see a point in living anymore. I can't take the feeling of having no friends. And I can't take the feeling that asperger's is keeping me from doing everything I've wanted to do. I truly think I'm getting close to being done with it all. My stomach is in my throat right now. I'm so depressed that I feel sick.