What can I do?
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What can I do?

This is a discussion on What can I do? within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; Ya know no one would even understand my story. I dont even know how to explain what I have went ...

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Old 08-20-06, 08:22 PM   #1
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 2
Default What can I do?

Ya know no one would even understand my story. I dont even know how to explain what I have went through. It happened 5 years ago. I'm still not over it. I'll never be over. But he is back in my life. WHY! How do I get away from all the memories? How do I push everything to the back of my mind and forget? I tried. Ireally did. I cant do it. I dont even want to hold on anymore.
No one even knows the whole story. You wanna know whats really messed up. When I told my Dad didnt even beleive me. They made me stay there. He wouldnt let me go back to my Mom. He made me stay around because apparantly I was going to tear the family apart with this nonsense.
His words to me were your older and should have been able to defend yourself so I dont believe it.
Do you know what that feels like? I think at that point my father lost all the respect I ever had for him. How can you say that to your own daughter. Not ot mention his wifes son. Not my brother not my step-brother- HIS wifes son. Used to hold a pocket knofe to my throat at any time anything happened.

Why should I hold on. I still live at home with my Dad, his wife and her daugher. Ihate it so much! I'm trying to get out of here so bad. I was living with my older sister but, well her boyfriend didnt like me so Igot sent back here.

Well tonight I found my Dad's wifes' sleeping pills. I figure if her son ruined my life I might as well take those from her and end my own. I have letters written out already. I want to do it so bad. But I find my self stopping. Like instead of doing it tonite I cut on my upper thighs. They cant see that.

I just... I really am becoming more and more depressed.
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Old 08-20-06, 08:29 PM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 158

please tell me what happened. i kno it seems that no one understands but i promis you some one will and from what i get someone held a knife to your neck. that happened to me then i was raped time nd time again by his friends and him so belive me someone here can and will help you
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Old 08-20-06, 08:46 PM   #3
Join Date: Jul 2006
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it wasnt just someone. It was someone younger. It was my step-brother. Although I refuse to call him that. He is my Dad's wife's son.
What hurts so much about all of this is how close we used to be. I hate that he took my trust and used it to my advantage. Like I sais it happened 5 years ago. Let me tell you what my Dad has done for me. NOTHING. What have they done for HIM. Everything to try and help him. We used to live in Michigan. People we went to school with found out and started beating him up and all sorts of things. Names. It was bad for both of us.
So we moved to Florida which it just so happened there was a job oppurtinty for my Dad and his wife. Well needless to say HE did not last long at schhol here. He purposly failed every class. So my parents put him in a boarding school. The first one was a military based kinda thing. He ended up getting in trouble. So they put him throug this counsleing stuff. He ended up going to a boarding school with counsleing and waht not to help him get back to normality or some shit.
While I stayed here cutting my wrists. Running away. Doing drugs.
So basically they spent thousands of dollars to help him get back to a normal life. And they did nothing for me. Even though everything I did was a cry out for help.
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Old 08-20-06, 09:15 PM   #4
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,959

this is indeed a sad situation for you broken smile. the thing is...he (the wife's son) is not worth dying for. don't give him that, but be strong in your life, make something of it and make him wish that he could be like you. do not give him YOUR life. he's already taken enough from you.

in the meantime, until you can leave, focus on you and your future happiness. if your dad won't help (which is sad), move on and do what is best for you. do not them bring you down.

again - do not die for a creep. it's not worth it.

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Old 08-20-06, 09:40 PM   #5
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broken smile, I'm sorry to hear that you've suffered. :(
Your dad's wife's son hurt you and he took something from you, don't let him take anything more, don't let him take your life too. It's your life, not his, not your dad's, not his wife's. Maybe you should literally say to your dad that you are depressed and tell him how you feel; parents can be in denial about their children b/c they don't want to admit there's something wrong.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Seuss

"The earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs, but not every man's greed." Gandhi.

War is a racket. The few profit. The many suffer. --Major General Smedley Butler. 2 time congressional Medal of Honor winner.

"The greater the sensibility, the greater the suffering...much suffering." Leonardo da Vinci.

Everybody drank the Kool-Aid.
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Old 08-21-06, 11:13 PM   #6
Join Date: Jul 2006
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i kno it hurts and it is a very terrible story irishred is right he isnt worth dying. please let your feelings out here let us help
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