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Want to die because. No woman wants me.

This is a discussion on Want to die because. No woman wants me. within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; just trying to help. No point being a prick about it, we all have our issues on here you know...

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Old 04-30-10, 10:36 PM   #11
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just trying to help. No point being a prick about it, we all have our issues on here you know
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Old 04-30-10, 11:45 PM   #12
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I'm sorry. I am being a prick.
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Old 05-01-10, 12:41 AM   #13
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yeah sex is important. believe me i have experienced all different kinds of sexual frustrations and i think part of my depression is because of that. i can understand it's a natural thing that people should have, like eating. i didn't know at first it was a sexual problem. i know now i can't really be happy if i'm single for more than one maybe two years. it's killing me. I know what it feels like when you feel like crawling up the walls. i can be frustrated even if i'm in a relationship; i remember my last long-term relationship, the guy wanted to have sex with me every other day, if only. i remember i was very tearful and our relationship was unstable. then i realised that my subcounscious behaviour( of wearing more sexy clothing for example) was just a response of not getting it enough. i didn't see it about myself. but i remember i got almost hysterical once when he didn't want to have sex with me one morning and gave me a disrespecting look. i got crying the next day or so. it's his problem not mine, yet he turned it around as if it's not 'female' of me to want to have sex everyday. i'm glad we broke up.

but believe me when i say that you do get used to not having it...

my advice then be more assertive. if you want sex say it and be very confident, even if it means pretending and putting on an act. i would suggest also take a break from looking. there is a way of turning sexual desire into other positive and productive energy. once you learn the skill, your sexual frustration is going to be less painful.

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Last edited by outofblue; 05-01-10 at 12:44 AM.
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Old 05-01-10, 12:50 AM   #14
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sports can be a wonderful way to turn that sexual energy around. go for a long run, very long... go now, get ready. it's one way i'm hoping to heal my depression. my natural instict was to a problem when i was younger is to feel like running for a long time. with time it became smoking until i can't breath. as a result i become even more ill. i'm trying now to tell to myself to exercise instead, to let the steam out.
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Old 05-01-10, 01:24 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by automatron View Post
Men cannot. Men have to make a move, and the wonan sees that as things "just happening"
you just made me laugh at this. it's true to a certain extent. you do have to make a move, even if she is your friend. but don't feel bad if she says no, she is deeply flattered believe me. i don't really know what to tell you though. the only thing is that you're so young still. you're not even in your 30's. you'll yet to get lots of pashion and sex in your life. and i do believe that even if you'll be in your 40's it's still going to be good. i know actually many people have grown into very confident mature adults that just know what they are doing in life. it could be something that will make you find her. it will still be not too late.
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Old 05-01-10, 03:46 AM   #16
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so what is making it so damn hard for you to hook up with a woman? do you try to make a move and get rejected? or do you wait for her to make a move, and it never comes? what exactly is the problem? it sounds like from what you said you have been trying and i don't get why you aren't succeeding. why do you think you're not succeeding?
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Old 05-01-10, 08:30 AM   #17
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I'll start by saying that I'm not thinking about suicide anymore. I'm about to leave NYC today, and I'm glad! I've really been out of my routine and it has just thrown everything out of whack. That's a good point, BIGPMC. I do work out pretty regularly, and I was lifting pretty heavy weight before I left. Working out is an excellent temporary escape for me. My friend picked this hotel that doesn't have a fitness center! And it's in a crappy neighborhood with no gyms nearby. I won't let him pick the hotel next time. I have seen that it gets harder to deal with everything when I stop working out.

Dreamer, I don't ask women (strangers) out that often because I have extremely low confidence. I've never had a real relationship, so it's hard to imagine that it will ever happen at this point. I agonize about it. I evaluate every woman I see and wonder whether she would say yes or not. I hesitate and miss my opportunity. I've tried asking friends out a lot and it never works. I meet girls that are friends of friends at parties and stuff and none of them have ever shown any interest in me.

I have two older brothers who are both better looking than me. I kind of look like them, but ugly. When I'm with them I see women gawking at them and saying dumb shit to try to pick them up. This doesn't happen to me, so I know I'm ugly.

I've recently been hanging out with a girl that's a friend of a friend. I asked if she would be open to being more than friends and she said she would. This was a few days before I left for NYC. But she doesn't make much effort to respond when I email or text her. She might be playing games and I hate playing games. I guess I'm supposed to pretend like I'm not interested or some dumb shit like other people do. I'm assuming that she's not all that interested. So I'll have to start the long, tortureous process again.
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Old 05-01-10, 09:28 AM   #18
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you said your brothers were married right?

fortunately a man doesn't have to be handsome..i used to avoid all handsome ones for a long time. it's really about the confidence only. you have nothing to lose, you know everything about yourself, the least you could do is be confident about it. women like it when you project security and take the lead. behave like a gentleman with them, that way they'll know you're not just a friend..

i have two older sisters and i have problems with confidence. it could be that there was a lot of competition when you were younger. usually two is enough to measure your strength, so the third one is left overshadowed in a way...

it's goot you don't feel suicidal anymore...

i had a friend who lost his virginity at 28..he opened up to me and i decided to talk him through it, i told him to just approach women. i met him a year later and he said he did it...

i know lots of men who don't want to settle until they're in their 30's.. that's just one opinion.
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Old 05-01-10, 11:43 AM   #19
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sorry, outofblue, I meant to say "good point" to you. I'm the youngest of my siblings, so I felt invisible a lot as a child. I don't know how to be more confident. I try though. I can psyche myself up as much as I want beforehand. But when the moment comes to be confident around the woman, I have an automatic anxiety attack and the negative thoughts come back and convince me that I'm a loser.

Now I feel like I'm posting about something that's been posted a million times before.
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Old 05-01-10, 12:52 PM   #20
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Aw i can so understand you. In fact i was going to comeback and correct myself. I feel like i'm forcing you to do something you are not. I have no confidence myself. My sisters really took all the limelight when i was little. I had to listen, because i was at the bottom. My elder sister still thinks she is the queen (no critism, but of course there are always frictions in families) and the middle one is a fighter, she knows how to win; she competed fot the highest spot. Even though we have three years difference each. There was no way for me to win, i'd have to go above them...

there are women who like shy and careful guys, you just need to carry on hoping i suppose.
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