Idk what I'm supposed to do. I feel like cutting is the only way to cope. Nothing else works as well as it. I know it's not the best way to cope, but like whoever said before, isn't it better to cut than to kill myself?

Anything is better than killing yourself, but there are lots of things that are better than cutting. Has your therapist taught you any ways to cope when you would normally cut? If not, google it, theres so many ways they suggest to help relieve the urge to cut you may find it works for you. Anything is worth a shot. And I'm glad there were people around when you were at the bridge. Please don't go back when its quiet.

Have you called your doctor yet? I really think you should...you need to tell someone how bad you are feeling so they can help you

She did give me ways, but it just doesn't do anything for me because I know it's not hurting myself. I tried the ice cube thing, cutting something else, using a red pen, but it just makes me feel stupid. I just really want to cut right now. I'm getting very anxious about how it's going to be when the house is full again in a few hours. I hope they get delayed or something and I'm asleep when they get back...

There isn't much difference between using the red pen and doing it for real, only the real thing is permanent. Snapping rubber bands I heard hurts just fine

Try them all again, the elastic band one definitely does hurt. Ping it against your wrist enough times and hopefully it will help to reduce the urge.

You have work tomorrow right? So you won't have to be around to see your dad all day. If you don't want to be awke when they get home take something to help you sleep now. Maybe tomorrow it will be a bit easier to deal with.

I'm just tired of fighting these bad feelings all the time. To me, there is a huge difference between using a red pen and actually cutting. The pen doesn't hurt and I know it's not blood. I hope you don't read this as if I don't appreciate the thought. I really do.

Idk, I'll try the rubber band thing again...it's better than the pen, but it just doesn't help because I don't bleed and I feel like I deserve to bleed. I probably sound crazy.

It's just been a bad day. I've been wanting to hurt myself all day, I drove over the bridge, I feel disgusting and gross, and I know it's going to be worse when everyone is back...I'm just not ready yet. I feel so alone in real life.

It's just those urges keep coming back to just not think and just do it since I won't to deal with the aftermath of it.