Stop saying it gets better!
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Suicide Forums > Suicide


Stop saying it gets better!

This is a discussion on Stop saying it gets better! within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; Millions of people can testify that it doesn't "get better." Chronic illness doesn't go away; financial ruin can't be fixed ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 04-11-18, 08:39 AM   #1
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 82
Default Stop saying it gets better!

Millions of people can testify that it doesn't "get better." Chronic illness doesn't go away; financial ruin can't be fixed after a certain point. I'm closer now to the final act then I was when I last posted, and that is the one thing that gives me relief and peace.

It's time the suicide prevention commmunity began looking at this issue with honesty and clarity. Not all motivations are the same, and not all situations can be remedied. Sometimes there really is no hope.
nocturne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-18, 06:45 PM   #2
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: South America
Posts: 596
My Mood:
Default

I would agree with you for the most part. The thing is, we have to keep a certain positivity when we are talking mental health, with which the chronic negativity that lies within us is hard to fight against.

I agree the words in that form, "it gets better", I hate and it's not realistic for so many. But where does it leave people if we say, "it doesn't get better"? We can be honest, but the situation is different for everyone, the little details. Better would be to encourage that "it can get better" if we look at things in a different way, approach things differently - again different for each of us.

We have to have some positivity, even if so many don't understand that their words or actions might not be helping in the way they think (if they think...).
__________________
Do not listen to a word I say
Just listen to what I can keep silent
The only way to gain approval
Is by exploiting the very thing that cheapens me
Andino is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-12-18, 06:30 AM   #3
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 29
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nocturne View Post
Not all motivations are the same, and not all situations can be remedied. Sometimes there really is no hope.
Your point is realistic.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andino View Post
"it can get better" if we look at things in a different way, approach things differently
Some things will not change with a different approach.
Polite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-12-18, 08:01 AM   #4
New Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 9
Default

I'm very close as well. The questions and ideas that come up for me is the fact that the basic assumptions behind suicide prevention are bullshit. People don't understand what it is to live with the conditions that encourage one to suicide.
The assumption that it is to escape the current pain is all wrong. It's the knowing that if there is relief from the suffering for a while, it will be returning faithfully to re-inflict. It's the continuous cycle of somatic and cognitive torture that I want to escape. I know it will return and I know how bad it will get from my current experience. And I know it will render me dysfunctional and unable to make sound decisions; therefore it is a sound decision in and of itself. I do not believe in hell; although I may suffer some "penalty" if the Universe indeed does give a shit about going against evolution. But then maybe I am simply conforming to evolution: The weaker of the species, unable to follow the course of the collective flow getting plucked, or plucking itself- whats the difference- from the group.
I've concluded that the Universe clearly does not give a shit for me and my ego. It's only interested in it's own agenda.
Existentialist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-13-18, 02:10 PM   #5
Member
 
FromTheHeart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 746
My Mood:
Default

Sometimes it seems indeed like they are throwing these silly catchphrases around. Maybe to make themselves feel better. Although it is definitely true that a different perspective sometimes can help to manage things. Or that people can learn to live with illness or injury, as time goes by. But that is not 'getting better', it is 'managing' or 'learning to live with'.
__________________
Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away,
to a land where joys will never end,
I'll fly away.

Last edited by FromTheHeart; 04-13-18 at 02:14 PM.
FromTheHeart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-14-18, 01:20 AM   #6
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 29
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FromTheHeart View Post
it is 'managing' or 'learning to live with'.
Exactly right. Being phony and unrealistic optimistic is a reason for someone to feel no one is trying to understand. In some cases, it's only possible to admit life is difficult and it's something to be endured.
Polite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-22-18, 09:55 AM   #7
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 79
My Mood:
Default

I totally agree with you! I hate all these nonsense motivational stuff that people say in their attempt to ''relieve'' people pain! In my opinion these are just a verification that you are doom to suffer forever. And that's why i hate them. There are just insoluble words that want penetrate in your soul and help you out!

You can check my last post to another guy here (Proton) in which i put this meaningless words aside and tried to really help him out. I am telling you this not to ''praise'' myself, but to make you believe in me that i can help you out

So please tell me exactly what you are really going through and will try to give you my honest and out of my heart opinion and suggestion that i believe will help you out improve your life and find even a bit of happiness in it
flatliner is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-18, 03:04 AM   #8
Junior Member
 
TheSilentGrey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 172
My Mood:
Default

Sure, things can't always improve, but it's important to always look at things with an open mind. Being optimistic and open to the idea that things may improve, or just become more cope-able, can make living easier, if only slightly. Sometimes the path to happiness isn't conventional either, so having an open mind applies here too; What may seem like the end of the world might.. just not be. Of course, I'm not saying it's always the case though.
TheSilentGrey is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2