shawn - I'm truly sorry to hear about what's going on in your life dear. You have 3; 3 beautiful children that need their father. I know you're having a hard time with everything going on right now, but take some comfort in knowing that you're loved by your childern & that should be MORE than enough to try to get you through these hard times that you're having dear.
They don't live far away, that's great! Maybe you can see them a little more when you're feeling down? It's a suggestion. They're the Loves in your life; they need you! It's hard feeling that way, when nothing seems to matter, but your childern do.
We'll be here for support dear & don't try anything that would hurt you/your childern. Just give yourself time to think about it....
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche