Sorry to hear your in so much pain. :(
I can relate to ur feelings. I used the Samaritans once and at theatre moment in time it helped me. But then I went back to feeling how I did before I called them.
I just wanted to point out something which maybe will make u feel a tiny bit better. You posted this morning saying you had a whole day to get through, and didn't no if u could. But here you are now, all those hours later. At the end of another day. I no it's only a small thing and I'm sorry if it means nothing and I should just stop talking. But when I feel that bad I take the smallest of achievements and try to feel a little bit proud of myself. Even if it is just to go out somewhere and come back by myself. Or just managing to go to work for a few hours. Sometimes looking at the small achievements can encourage you to try and little bit more.
I hope things pick up for you