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"A permanent solution to a temporary problem."

This is a discussion on "A permanent solution to a temporary problem." within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; Originally Posted by SensualGirl I was in a relationship with someone who had social anxiety so no that's not the ...

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Old 12-15-15, 02:02 PM   #11
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I was in a relationship with someone who had social anxiety so no that's not the case. In fact, that was one of the reasons I even liked him.

You can:

-Get a job and move/travel to an area with lots of available women
-Get a good job and by the time you're 33-36 you will have lots of girlfriends
Okay, so I guess girls simply don't like me for whatever reason. I'd be grateful to have just one girlfriend. I doubt a 24 year old guy who has never even kissed a girl is meant to have lots of girlfriends. Such a guy is meant to never experience intimacy, ever. In fact, if it weren't for escorts, I'm sure I would die a virgin.

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Old 12-15-15, 02:06 PM   #12
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you are putting these limitations on yourself actually. Also, have you tried researching social awkwardness to become more of aware of it and maybe try to fix it on your own? Just because you have an issue now doesn't mean you always have to have this issue. Our minds are weak and we just need ways to strengthen it is all.
If I was 18 and you were telling me this, then okay. But I'm 24. It's too late now to experience all this. It's too late to fix anything. I've been trying to fix it since I was 18, and 6 years later I'm still the same. So this suggests that it never had to do with me in the first place. Girls simply don't want me. That's the most logical conclusion.

By the way, have you read about love-shyness? I believe it's the reason I'm this way, and maybe the reason I always get rejected. I can't explain it very well, but if you Google it you'll find a lot of stuff about it.

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Old 12-15-15, 02:43 PM   #13
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I'm sorry guys. I know you want to help.

It pains me that such a serious issue (love-shyness and incel) that prevents people from ever experiencing what intimacy means, is ignored to the point that people have a hard time grasping that it really exists, and some people are really suffering because of it. Some of them are really good people and they end up suicidal. I don't think I'm a bad person, so I don't understand why I deserve all this. I don't understand why I'm rejected this way, both by women and by society. I feel left out from society because of this... And I feel like society has given up on me.

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Old 12-15-15, 03:10 PM   #14
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society hasnt given up on you, and nobody wants you to give up on you, if you can make friends with a girl, you can go further than that with a girl at some point. Things will change but only if you really want them to, have you considered professional help?
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Old 12-15-15, 03:13 PM   #15
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society hasnt given up on you, and nobody wants you to give up on you, if you can make friends with a girl, you can go further than that with a girl at some point. Things will change but only if you really want them to, have you considered professional help?
I do have some female friends. But that's where it stays, it has never developed further with any girl I've known.

Yes, I've considered professional help. I'm already seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and might see another, better psychologist soon since this one isn't helping much. I'm also taking meds for my depression. The problem is that therapists themselves can't seem to fully understand my situation. If anything, they may be able to help with the depression at most. I highly doubt a therapist can help me get a girlfriend, and I'm running out of time each day.

And you know what also bothers me? My situation is a great subject for ridicule to society. A guy who's over 20 still hasn't kissed a girl? Let alone 24 (and counting)!? Get out of here... That's what society thinks, and I have it thrown at my face every single day. If it was by choice, then I wouldn't feel hurt by this, but in my case it isn't by choice. My whole situation isn't by choice, I assure you, and that's why I'm suicidal because of it.

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Old 12-15-15, 03:43 PM   #16
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Ive browsed all sorts of forums online as I had issues with girls too, and I can assure you that you are not the only one in the world that hasnt kissed a girl at 24. If you focus on other things in your life you wont think about it as much. As men we always want someone to be around us, to talk to us, love us, etc.. but the reality is at the end of the day you'll be happy when you are closing in on your goals. I have so many issues but I know a woman wont solve them so I do my best to not think about them. And don't worry about what society and others thinks, society sucks and I am rebelling against it too so I can relate to you as far as that is concerned. You don't have to accept society's idea of what it is to be a man , create your own definition that you can live with.
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Old 12-15-15, 09:37 PM   #17
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Yes! Being a man is just being a male adult. Being an adult is just owning your stuff.

I'm sorry I was a bit dismissive I guess. I had you confused with someone. Anyway, there are TONS of guys who are 24 year old virgins these days and yes, this is often not by choice. People don't get married until later in life. I heard one statistic that 80% of girls are having sex with 20% of guys??

First of all, are you straight? I'm not saying that to be mean or something. That might be your saving grace...
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Old 12-16-15, 02:03 PM   #18
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Yes! Being a man is just being a male adult. Being an adult is just owning your stuff.

I'm sorry I was a bit dismissive I guess. I had you confused with someone. Anyway, there are TONS of guys who are 24 year old virgins these days and yes, this is often not by choice. People don't get married until later in life. I heard one statistic that 80% of girls are having sex with 20% of guys??

First of all, are you straight? I'm not saying that to be mean or something. That might be your saving grace...
Yeah I heard about that statistic as well... You being a girl, what do you think of this? Don't you think it's just cruel? I mean why do guys like me get excluded while everyone else enjoys all this heaven?

And yes, I am straight as an arrow. I'm sure of this. I know this because I tried to be gay out of desperation, but I just got disgusted and it's totally not for me.
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Old 12-16-15, 02:11 PM   #19
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Ive browsed all sorts of forums online as I had issues with girls too, and I can assure you that you are not the only one in the world that hasnt kissed a girl at 24. If you focus on other things in your life you wont think about it as much. As men we always want someone to be around us, to talk to us, love us, etc.. but the reality is at the end of the day you'll be happy when you are closing in on your goals. I have so many issues but I know a woman wont solve them so I do my best to not think about them. And don't worry about what society and others thinks, society sucks and I am rebelling against it too so I can relate to you as far as that is concerned. You don't have to accept society's idea of what it is to be a man , create your own definition that you can live with.
I'm not the only one, but I'm among the 0.5% guys who haven't, and those guys are viewed as unattractive by girls. Come to think of it, maybe nature excluded me from mating. Maybe my genes are soooo bad that they shouldn't be passed on.

I don't accept society's ideas. I really despise the way society has become. But it just hurts to be viewed this way, and when seeking support I either get laughed at or they just don't believe I'm being serious. I had one female friend who always tells me I'm a great person make fun of me once... She was like, "You are 23 and still haven't kissed a girl... I mean that's an achievement. You must the only one this way." Then when I told her it really hurt, she started trying to come up with excuses and saying that she didn't mean it this way. What other way can it be interpreted then?

Regarding what you said about women not going to solve our problems, well yes you're right. I'm not expecting a woman to solve my issues. But in my current situation, I don't think I stand in a good position. Since it isn't by choice, what guarantees me a girlfriend in the upcoming years, or ever? Yes she won't solve my issues, but if I was choosing to be this way, I could easily go and find a girlfriend when I'm ready, but since this isn't the case, then nothing guarantees that it will ever work.

Last edited by Forest; 01-09-16 at 07:15 AM.
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Old 12-17-15, 11:06 PM   #20
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I'm want to do it I swear. I just can't take it anymore... Why... Why do girls don't want me!?!?! What's so disgusting about me?!?! It's too late for me to experience intimacy anyways. Those are things someone is supposed to experience now, not to mention earlier. And I'm 24. 24 and never kissed a girl, never held a girl's hand, nothing. This isn't right. This is an indication from life and nature that I'm not supposed to live. Yes, it's a sign. Nature is telling me that I should not live.

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