"A permanent solution to a temporary problem."
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"A permanent solution to a temporary problem."

This is a discussion on "A permanent solution to a temporary problem." within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; Hi all. I don't usually post here, but I was thinking about this, and I thought this would be the ...

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Old 12-14-15, 07:28 PM   #1
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Hi all. I don't usually post here, but I was thinking about this, and I thought this would be the best place to post my thoughts.

People always discourage suicide, and I often read the phrase "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." However, I don't think this is true. Sometimes the problem is really permanent, and not at all temporary.

I'm currently feeling this way, and my problem is permanent. I've posted my story when I first registered. Here's a link to the post: https://www.takethislife.com/suicide/...icidal-219129/. Except that now I'll be 24 in less than two weeks. In less than two weeks, I'll be 24 years old with no romantic/sexual experience whatsoever (not even a kiss), and I'm still struggling to know what is wrong with me. In that post I've explained about my situation, and how it's all not by choice.

It simply makes me lose my mind. I'm literally losing my mind, and then they tell me it's temporary. No, no it isn't. I've been this way ever since I started wanting a girlfriend. It's not at all temporary. No person can still be sane after being forced to be alone forever. It's even negatively affecting every other aspect of my life. I have no motivation to do anything anymore, including trying to pursue a partner. Part of it is the fact that I know I'll fail at it. Women don't realize what I want from them, and I end up getting rejected (I've elaborated my problem in the linked post).

I highly doubt you've ever heard of someone my age who doesn't have romantic experience and not by choice. I mean some people choose to be this way, but this is not the case with me. This is something I very much want, yet no girl has ever wanted me, and I'm confident no girl ever will. I seriously spend almost my entire day thinking about this and getting depressed about it and at times so angry that I break stuff.
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Old 12-14-15, 08:05 PM   #2
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Have you considered how very young you still are? How many people would give anything to be 24 again? This is NOT a permanent problem at all. I was about the same age before I had my first kiss. In my case I didn't have the opportunity to meet women that we have nowadays. My life changed (for the better) in a drastic way. It took time, but it happened, which means it can happen for you. Now what if I had said "this is permanent" and killed myself instead?

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Old 12-14-15, 09:15 PM   #3
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I'm 29 and although it hurts to not have anyone, at times its great. relationships lead to marriages that have a 50/50 chance of survival. but if you're alone, you have a 100% chance of never allowing yourself to be vurnerable to someone just to be hurt.
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Old 12-14-15, 09:48 PM   #4
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I'm 29 and although it hurts to not have anyone, at times its great. relationships lead to marriages that have a 50/50 chance of survival. but if you're alone, you have a 100% chance of never allowing yourself to be vurnerable to someone just to be hurt.
Yeah but in your case it's most likely by choice. It most likely isn't because no girl has ever wanted you... The thing that people don't seem to be able to grasp is that in my case it's not by choice. NOT by choice. And I'm talking about intimacy with women in general, not just serious relationships. I've never had any of this (because girls don't like me)... and it hurts.

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Old 12-14-15, 09:56 PM   #5
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Have you considered how very young you still are? How many people would give anything to be 24 again? This is NOT a permanent problem at all. I was about the same age before I had my first kiss. In my case I didn't have the opportunity to meet women that we have nowadays. My life changed (for the better) in a drastic way. It took time, but it happened, which means it can happen for you. Now what if I had said "this is permanent" and killed myself instead?

Well, I'm young now, true, but years are passing by way too quickly. Plus, I really don't have a chance for a relationship... I don't know many girls in my life and none of them see me as anything more than a friend. I think those are things you should experience when you're young, and I'm not getting to experience them, and I'm getting older each day. :(

I've met people (on another forum) in their 50's who are still in this situation, so what prevents me from remaining like this forever? It's indeed very possible, and it's what's happening. It IS permanent for some people, and it looks like it's going to be this way for me.
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Old 12-15-15, 08:54 AM   #6
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So what about yourself do you think is making you unattractive to women? Is it something you can control?
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Old 12-15-15, 11:13 AM   #7
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So what about yourself do you think is making you unattractive to women? Is it something you can control?
If I knew, I would have solved my problem. It all started with severe social anxiety, and... Well, I think that's enough on its own to keep someone from ever having a partner. Maybe my awkwardness is unattractive. In the post I linked, I mentioned that I have something called love-shyness. You can google it if you wish and read about it. Basically it makes it impossible for me to be clear about my intentions, thus all women I meet think I'm uninterested, so they reject me. I basically come off as really cold and uninterested, which is entirely out of my control. It may also be that I'm simply unattractive and I'm not meant to ever have a girlfriend. I've only ever been rejected about 5 times... But I don't know any women at the moment that I can ask out. It takes me too long to meet someone new, so I'm stuck being forced to be single forever. I seriously don't understand why it's extremely easy for other people. They even take it for granted. They take what's making me think life is worthless for granted.
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Old 12-15-15, 11:17 AM   #8
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I really don't understand why I was even born... If I was not meant to enjoy those basic luxuries of life that everyone takes for granted, then why was I born? I really don't get it. I'm 24 and still never kissed a girl, because girls simply don't want me. Who would want to live a life like this?
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Old 12-15-15, 12:33 PM   #9
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I was in a relationship with someone who had social anxiety so no that's not the case. In fact, that was one of the reasons I even liked him.

You can:

-Get a job and move/travel to an area with lots of available women
-Get a good job and by the time you're 33-36 you will have lots of girlfriends
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Old 12-15-15, 01:58 PM   #10
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If I knew, I would have solved my problem. It all started with severe social anxiety, and... Well, I think that's enough on its own to keep someone from ever having a partner. Maybe my awkwardness is unattractive. In the post I linked, I mentioned that I have something called love-shyness. You can google it if you wish and read about it. Basically it makes it impossible for me to be clear about my intentions, thus all women I meet think I'm uninterested, so they reject me. I basically come off as really cold and uninterested, which is entirely out of my control. It may also be that I'm simply unattractive and I'm not meant to ever have a girlfriend. I've only ever been rejected about 5 times... But I don't know any women at the moment that I can ask out. It takes me too long to meet someone new, so I'm stuck being forced to be single forever. I seriously don't understand why it's extremely easy for other people. They even take it for granted. They take what's making me think life is worthless for granted.

you are putting these limitations on yourself actually. Also, have you tried researching social awkwardness to become more of aware of it and maybe try to fix it on your own? Just because you have an issue now doesn't mean you always have to have this issue. Our minds are weak and we just need ways to strengthen it is all.
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