I'm not sure what you mean. If you mean attacking myself mentally, I wish I could stop that. I hate it, and I know I gain nothing from it. I don't do it intentionally.

"People do what works" -Dr. Phil. If it wasn't serving a purpose, you wouldn't be doing it. Part of you "knows" in your mind and heart that you're not doing it on purpose, but another part of you is doing it for a reason. Try to thing of why.

For example I hear voices that involve people harassing me for one reason or another (slut/prude/tease is the main theme, also black/not black enough/white, lesbian/straight/bi). The pay off is that is sometimes compelles me into solitude, brings me closer to my loved ones, other times it compells me to be a cameleon of sorts and keep my private life to myself like at church.

I guess that it helps me with my schoolwork, sort of as a motivation to do better.