Lonely once again!
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Lonely once again!

This is a discussion on Lonely once again! within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; Iím a lonely 52yr old female whoís never been married, no children. The only loving relationship I had is with ...

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Old 05-19-20, 05:51 PM   #1
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Iím a lonely 52yr old female whoís never been married, no children. The only loving relationship I had is with my colleague who recently committed suicide and heís gay. He was very depressed because heís been battling cancer for the last 4 years, and now with this pandemic it got him more depressed which led him to suicide. I was very lonely for the last 5 years. I had no friends, the last friends I had stab me in the back. Iíve couldnít even get a date, I always get rejected. Iím now living with my mother and sister whom I got no support. My mother is very abuse and very senile, which is why Iím now saving up to get a place of my own which I should have done years ago. Iíve been mistreated by my family and by people for years. My recent boyfriend promised me he would marry me and put me as beneficiary, he promised me a lot of things which never happened. Now heís gone and Iím very much alone again. Iím in deep depression. I hate my life; I hate this world. Iíll pray that I will be taken away from this world soon...
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When I Hurt inside

My life is often difficult, harsh and unkind...

When I'm hurting inside my pain is a lot more intense, unable to relax, another night without sleep.

I'm becoming frustrated, falling in too deep..

I feel there's no hope, my life is crumbling in every way because my emotional pain worsens every single day.
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Old 05-22-20, 05:19 PM   #2
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Maybe I should go ahead with my suicide plan because nobody here seems to care!!!!
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When I Hurt inside

My life is often difficult, harsh and unkind...

When I'm hurting inside my pain is a lot more intense, unable to relax, another night without sleep.

I'm becoming frustrated, falling in too deep..

I feel there's no hope, my life is crumbling in every way because my emotional pain worsens every single day.
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Old 05-23-20, 04:09 AM   #3
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@Jackie+++some people care about your problems==i know your situation seems hopeless,but carry on and remember bygone good days==a depression can lead to frustration,low self worth,no esteem,no drive to carry on==skip that suicide option,please..losing your gay friend is something going deep..there is always a light at the end of the tunnel if we go for that light...tbh i never lost a friend because of suicide,i would be devastated and not being able to forget..we know that you are in that situtation now,pull yourself together,if a friend stabs you in the back that's even worsening the situation,i rather would like that they confront me face to face frontwise..why you get rejected at dates?family abuse is not a nice thing either,neither are broken promises..keep on posting here,let go of your upsets,hate should never be a word in anyones vocabulary+++i don't hate==i dislike...keep us informed about your situtation==people are reading and listening..
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Old 05-23-20, 02:28 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tigerlover View Post
@Jackie+++some people care about your problems==i know your situation seems hopeless,but carry on and remember bygone good days==a depression can lead to frustration,low self worth,no esteem,no drive to carry on==skip that suicide option,please..losing your gay friend is something going deep..there is always a light at the end of the tunnel if we go for that light...tbh i never lost a friend because of suicide,i would be devastated and not being able to forget..we know that you are in that situtation now,pull yourself together,if a friend stabs you in the back that's even worsening the situation,i rather would like that they confront me face to face frontwise..why you get rejected at dates?family abuse is not a nice thing either,neither are broken promises..keep on posting here,let go of your upsets,hate should never be a word in anyones vocabulary+++i don't hate==i dislike...keep us informed about your situtation==people are reading and listening..
I'm sorry but I hate my life and I hat this world! My boyfriend doesn't care about me! He killed himself and left me with nothing! And what do you mean by
Quote:
why you get rejected at dates?
BECAUSE I GOT REJECTED, THAT'S WHY!!! NOBODY CARES IN THIS WORLD NOT EVEN MY OWN FAMILY!!! I'm afraid I'll never regain happiness until I'm dead!
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When I Hurt inside

My life is often difficult, harsh and unkind...

When I'm hurting inside my pain is a lot more intense, unable to relax, another night without sleep.

I'm becoming frustrated, falling in too deep..

I feel there's no hope, my life is crumbling in every way because my emotional pain worsens every single day.
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Old 05-24-20, 03:33 AM   #5
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loneliness can be a killer,but the art of being alone is worthwhile living,me thinks..loners live their life according to their own mindset,I do hope you regain contement in your life,Jackie
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Old 05-24-20, 12:43 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by tigerlover View Post
loneliness can be a killer,but the art of being alone is worthwhile living,me thinks..loners live their life according to their own mindset,I do hope you regain contement in your life,Jackie
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When I Hurt inside

My life is often difficult, harsh and unkind...

When I'm hurting inside my pain is a lot more intense, unable to relax, another night without sleep.

I'm becoming frustrated, falling in too deep..

I feel there's no hope, my life is crumbling in every way because my emotional pain worsens every single day.
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Old 05-24-20, 01:02 PM   #7
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hey jackie,

what do you usually do when you feel like this. do you have some positive coping methods?

posting here is positive for one.

we all want you to live
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Old 05-24-20, 03:19 PM   #8
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Hi Jackie,
I agree with ayesha & tigerlover. We do care, but we are limited in our ability to show that due to a website being the messenger. I understand how you feel and unfortunately, I understand what you view to be a solution. I am 66 years old and have lived completely alone for the last 25 years of my life. If a man came into my world in a loving way, I don't think I would even know how to react. But I do know that at least in the quietness of my home, there is no negativity. I watch what I want to, I eat what and when I want to, I do whatever I want to, or don't. I have managed to find ways to get through my days peacefully and pleasantly so that is good enough for me. I wish all of us to be well, focus on our own needs and the ability to be good enough for ourselves. You can make it Jackie, there will be better days to come. All of you are in my thoughts filled with hope.
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Old 05-25-20, 06:52 PM   #9
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I'm sorry there's nothing to keep me in this world, what do I have to live for? Continue to be mistreated? I'll pray every night that I die in my sleep and have my boyfriend's soul wake me from my body and escort me to heaven. There's nothing to keep me alive anymore.
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When I Hurt inside

My life is often difficult, harsh and unkind...

When I'm hurting inside my pain is a lot more intense, unable to relax, another night without sleep.

I'm becoming frustrated, falling in too deep..

I feel there's no hope, my life is crumbling in every way because my emotional pain worsens every single day.

Last edited by Jackieblue; 05-25-20 at 06:55 PM.
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Old 05-26-20, 08:44 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Jackieblue View Post
I'm sorry there's nothing to keep me in this world, what do I have to live for? Continue to be mistreated? I'll pray every night that I die in my sleep and have my boyfriend's soul wake me from my body and escort me to heaven. There's nothing to keep me alive anymore.
we can understand being abused and mistreated is a pain,but we all say==do not give in to total despair,usually people who wanna die,dont..death is never a solution for depression..can music lift you up,Jackie?i understand this forum deals with severe depression,lack of determination and no lust for life...do us all a favour and try at least to do something to improve your way of thinking=morbid depression is not the way one can deal with living a miserable life,it drags you deeper and deeper...by the way,don't pray that you will die in your sleep..take care,keep on posting,we are reading what you write here
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