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it just gets worse

This is a discussion on it just gets worse within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; ooh linconshire.. thats up by skeggie and mablethorpe aint it?? i love it up there...

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Old 10-10-06, 04:43 PM   #11
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ooh linconshire.. thats up by skeggie and mablethorpe aint it?? i love it up there



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im the kinda girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
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Old 10-10-06, 04:55 PM   #12
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i know how you feel i had my heart broken by girl i truly loved with all my heart it is never easy they say in time you'll feel better and time does help but for me it still hurts i think you need to get out be around people don't stay by your self try to be around people
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"...hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption, winding in, winding out, the shine of which has caught my eye..." "vindicated, i am selfish, i am wrong, i am right, i swear i'm right, i swear i knew it all along, i am flawed, but i am cleaning up so well, i am seeing in me now, the things you swore you saw yourself.."
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Old 10-11-06, 02:24 PM   #13
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a shit day again today the brain is on overtime pissed of shit going round and round will it stop i hope so
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Old 10-11-06, 02:26 PM   #14
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hey shawn sorry u having bad day u will heal in time. :)
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Old 10-11-06, 02:39 PM   #15
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Shawn, I am sorry to hear that you are having another bad day. MIne go like that a lot of the time too. One day can be ok, and the next you are crashing again. Have you ever checked out seeing a psychiatrist? Sometimes meds can help. Aries post is right..you should try to find something to get involved in..ie...volunteering, a group sport, anything to help tke your mind off of all the bad stuff. I volunteer at a TV station, and I play on 2 different pool leagues. I find that when I am busy..my mind doesn't have the chance to go to the dark places. I also know that it can be really hard to interact with others when you are feeling down. Sometimes we have to make ourselves do things to help.

I am glad that you are still with us. Keep talking, it does help..that way it isn't all bottled up inside of you driving you crazy, :D
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Old 10-11-06, 02:47 PM   #16
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thanks iris yes im on fluxitine have been for 4 months now someone said go back to the docs but i feel i am the only one to sort it out
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Old 10-11-06, 03:43 PM   #17
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shawn - It's truly great that you do want to sort it out, but sometimes our bodies just need a little help. Don't let any type of medication "scare" you; it's in place to only help you. I hope you understand what I mean. We will be here to help, but you have to allow yourself to take smaller steps through this whole thing; it's not something that can be handled in 1 day dear. Maybe, suggestion here. Try to write down your own goals, thins that you want to achieve. Then one x one start working on each thing, until it's worked through; to the best possible outcome it can be. Then move to the next. Sometimes I find that working on just 1 thing; instead of letting/allowing myself to be "all over the map" does help....

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Old 10-12-06, 09:35 PM   #18
 
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I'm new to this web-site and here by the direction that most gravitate to.
Two months ago I lost my wife of ten years to another man. Although she says she still loves me, I know that she is just trying to soften the blow.
Does she care? Yes, but she has found a vibrant world that is far more inticing than what she perceived as mundane and absent the attention she so desperately craves. She filed for a divorce and I have groveled and begged for her return but to no avail. Of course.
Shawn, I have a nine year old daughter for who I love dearly. But I am empty beyond belief. Deb was the girl of my life and dreams and everything seems so empty and hopeless at this point.
My truck is screwing up on me and I have 600.00 to my name. I am a well respected gang investigator but all I do is obsess on Deb and my work seems pointless and without merit. I see only darkness and despair ahead of me.
It happened so suddenly. I was content and then my world was shattered.
To make matters worse I have been alienated by my family, with the exception of my brother.
I have support from my friends and co-workers but I think that the decay of my ability to face her absence has reached it's conclusion.
Selfish to leave my little girl. But knowing that my life is spiraling downward would enividly produce a greater trauma to her in the long run.
I have made a concience decision to end it all. I trust my instincts.
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Old 10-12-06, 09:53 PM   #19
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William55 - While I truly sadden with what happened to you, there's always other options dear. Your child needs you; more than you know. You know how much more tramatic this could be on her years down the road? Think of that; if nothing else. Have you tired to get out? Have you tired to join some kind of bowling, dart, or volleyball leagues? Have you spoken to your doctor? Have you tired to get counseling/therapy? There's so many MORE options that what you're saying!

You said, "I trust my instincts." What if this very time; they lead you down a path, that you can't change? See what I'm saying? I know you're hurting from your divorce, but there's so many things to look forward to. You wouldn't want to miss any of your daughter's growing up stages! See where I'm going? I know what your saying & where you're coming from, but there's always something more; even when we're at our lowest.

You found this place! What a great start! Now allow yourself to release, vent, or whatever you feel that you need to do here! You're among strangers, yes I understand, but even strangers care very deeply...

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Old 10-13-06, 03:10 AM   #20
 
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I have hung on because of my daughter. And it grieves me to know that my pain will be transferred to her.
I truely feel like I died two months ago. One day I had my family and the next day I am alone while my wife and daughter are in the company of another man and his children. It is like an overwhelming nightmare.
Tonight I have my daughter but tomorrow she'll be leaving for the weekend and I'll have to face another three or four days without her ...tormented by the absence of my family, as if I had died and she moved on and remarried.
I am overwhelm and a sense of hopelessness has enveloped me.
Yes I've seen a doctor and was prescribe medication. But I remain fixated on this horror of abandonment.
I have never felt so lonely and morose in my life. The world has lost it's appeal to me.
I love my little girl but I cannot rise above this grief to be an effective father. The pain and sorrow has disabled me. I just want to wake up from this nightmare and dread the continuation of abandonment.
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