Im done with everything, im done with how ugly i look im done with how uncoordinated i am, im done with how i never know when enough is enough, im done with letting people down, im just done with everything.
I was expelled from school for being an idiot and throwing that down the drain, i let my family down. I let myself down and now im probably gonna end up homeless. I know its nobodys fault but my own, and thats the reason i hate myself, because i know that when im about to do something stupid or idiotic that it will have repercussions but stupid me does it anyways.
I over eat, basically eat anything and everything, iv been shouted at multiple times by my parents but i keep doing it, do i was i could stop? Of course, but can i? Of course not. I because i have no willpower or self control, i feel like i am a burden on anyone who takes me in, my mom sent me to live with my dad since she obviously cant be arsed to look after some highschool drop out, no life, no talent idiot.. Yeah no talents, iv really thought long and hard about if i can do something great.. You know something that i outshine others by far? Nope nothing.
Right now i got a message from my dad saying he is taking away most of my privileges because my brother ate some shit in the fridge and he thinks it was me... I tried to explain and he gave me the whole, im tired of being the nice guy story! I dont know what to do, i work online and every friend i have is online.. My family are all sporty and athletic, i can hardly throw a ball straight.
I am anti social, all i do is sit in my room, but thats were i feel happy and safe, where nobody is looking at me and i can just be myself, no pressure or people whispering about how ugly or unhealthy i am!
Yes i do try go to the gym, but do i loose weight? No, do i get stronger? No... I am also lucky number one in my family, first diabetic, type 1 got it when i was 2! So yeah thats another " fuck you" from life...
I want to apologise for making you read my sad story, and my feeling sorry for myself but i needed to rant and get it off my chest before i completely explode and end my poor excuse for a life!
Anyways yea im probably gonna just go do what i always do, play some video games.
thanks for reading guys