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I'm short and skinny and want to die..

This is a discussion on I'm short and skinny and want to die.. within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; Here in the west, it's just as bad, but they aren't even honest about it... they have this retarded "self-esteem" ...

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Old 09-26-11, 04:38 PM   #11
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Here in the west, it's just as bad, but they aren't even honest about it... they have this retarded "self-esteem" movement which is just dolled-up societal scapegoating. It's pretty much worldwide, except maybe in Asia where it's common for men to be short (but of course, white or black men can NEVER be short... it's just plain fucking inexcusable for society isn't it?) but yeah, short men almost ALWAYS get the shaft, and worse it's for something we can't control. Even worse is when you try to tell somebody about it (especially women,) they won't believe you; they'll just take a few exceptions and treat it like it's supposed to be normal... all without experiencing it first-hand.

It's a sick, disturbing, anger-inducing state of affairs.
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Old 09-26-11, 04:50 PM   #12
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Where do you live Alex?

5'9 is around the average height of an adult male or so I have always thought.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being shorter than this and it doesn't have to hold you back in any way. Let's see:

Danny Devito
Dudley Moore
Paul Simon
Martin Scorsese
Michael J Fox
Pablo Picasso
James Cagney
Woody Allen
Dustin Hoffman
Horatio Nelson
Tom Cruise
Al Pacino
Emilio Estevez

All of them were under 5'7 and I'm sure there are many more successful people who are below average height.

I know that it won't be much comfort to you because it takes a long time to change some of the ways we think about ourselves. A lot of the suggestions here are good ones. A bit of exercise and an attempt to bulk up a bit could do wonders for your self esteem and doesn't have to cost anything at all.

Who cares what people say?

You are who you are, we are all different and that is what makes us unique. Everyone of us has something to offer and height shouldn't matter.

I'm 5'8 btw.
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Old 09-26-11, 06:09 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by WTFAnime View Post
Here in the west, it's just as bad, but they aren't even honest about it... they have this retarded "self-esteem" movement which is just dolled-up societal scapegoating. It's pretty much worldwide, except maybe in Asia where it's common for men to be short (but of course, white or black men can NEVER be short... it's just plain fucking inexcusable for society isn't it?) but yeah, short men almost ALWAYS get the shaft, and worse it's for something we can't control. Even worse is when you try to tell somebody about it (especially women,) they won't believe you; they'll just take a few exceptions and treat it like it's supposed to be normal... all without experiencing it first-hand.

It's a sick, disturbing, anger-inducing state of affairs.
I'd rather prefer jokes or someone not being honest- than- downright evil.. I have never heard so much anger on any english -speaking forums. If they can make a 5'9 feel like trash then what does it say about them? .. I'm traumatized now.. It's just -americans have this illusion that women from eastern-europe are less shallow..which turns out to be completely the opposite. They've got to be the cruelest and shallowest of them all..
I'm the one who should be doing the surgery, to become at least 5'6.


Quote:
Originally Posted by everybodyhateschris View Post
Where do you live Alex?

5'9 is around the average height of an adult male or so I have always thought.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being shorter than this and it doesn't have to hold you back in any way. Let's see:

Danny Devito
Dudley Moore
Paul Simon
Martin Scorsese
Michael J Fox
Pablo Picasso
James Cagney
Woody Allen
Dustin Hoffman
Horatio Nelson
Tom Cruise
Al Pacino
Emilio Estevez

All of them were under 5'7 and I'm sure there are many more successful people who are below average height.

I know that it won't be much comfort to you because it takes a long time to change some of the ways we think about ourselves. A lot of the suggestions here are good ones. A bit of exercise and an attempt to bulk up a bit could do wonders for your self esteem and doesn't have to cost anything at all.

Who cares what people say?

You are who you are, we are all different and that is what makes us unique. Everyone of us has something to offer and height shouldn't matter.

I'm 5'8 btw.
Sorry but, I"m not famous and have no intention of becoming one. WHy do you people always mention celebrities as an example ? THey are talented, so height issues don't apply to them. I'm just regular and shy.+ short which is a deadly combination. And don't tell me to be confident because it's not something you can change. In fact it's very annoying when people say- well, if you have good personality and confident or funny and all that, then you still stand a chance. And everybody automatically assumes that a shrot guy must be funny or good at something else, since he got unlucky with genes.. What If I'm not funny and just regular, but happen to be short? This happens too you know.. Apparently there's no hope then.

Last edited by Alex19; 09-26-11 at 06:13 PM.
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Old 09-26-11, 06:38 PM   #14
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Alex, I'm not saying you should want to be famous. Just that your height and weight does not dictate what you can achieve in life or your worth as a human being. However, the way you think about it does have an impact on your life. It will make you feel unhappy and miserable but it's purely down to what you believe about yourself rather than truth and reality.

There is nothing wrong with regular. There is nothing wrong with being below average height or weight. Yes you are right in that some people will make fun of you and try to make you feel bad. That's because unfortunately there are a lot of shitty people out there. It's their problem, not yours.

There is hope. You are better than this. You don't need the approval of these shallow people.
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Old 09-26-11, 07:28 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by everybodyhateschris View Post
Alex, I'm not saying you should want to be famous. Just that your height and weight does not dictate what you can achieve in life or your worth as a human being. However, the way you think about it does have an impact on your life. It will make you feel unhappy and miserable but it's purely down to what you believe about yourself rather than truth and reality.

There is nothing wrong with regular. There is nothing wrong with being below average height or weight. Yes you are right in that some people will make fun of you and try to make you feel bad. That's because unfortunately there are a lot of shitty people out there. It's their problem, not yours.

There is hope. You are better than this. You don't need the approval of these shallow people.
Thanks for your support. I just never expected so much negativity from the people I live among.. Words can kill..

Btw, one day I'll do the surgery, I just have to, because in this big world there's less and less respect for people not measuring up in one way or another.. Nature wants to weed me out and it's hard to argue with her. Besides, I don't want to get old and shrink even more.
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Old 09-26-11, 08:02 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Alex19 View Post
I'd rather prefer jokes or someone not being honest- than- downright evil.. I have never heard so much anger on any english -speaking forums. If they can make a 5'9 feel like trash then what does it say about them? .. I'm traumatized now.. It's just -americans have this illusion that women from eastern-europe are less shallow..which turns out to be completely the opposite. They've got to be the cruelest and shallowest of them all..
I'm the one who should be doing the surgery, to become at least 5'6.
Are you sure about that? I'm not asking to be a dick, because I used to think the same thing back when I was your age and my teenage years... of course, 'cause of how the western world is, I got (what was at the time) my wish. Hearing lies about yourself or "jokes" only goes so far, believe me. Over time, the delusions seeped into my (at the time) susceptible mind, and I thought "well hey, maybe people don't suck that much after all!" Wrong. People (especially women) in the western world will lie to you with a straight face and compulsively at that; that's what's considered "power" over here. Worse yet, they'll set you up for the ultimate downfall, making it worse than hearing the horrible truth in the first place. I don't doubt that Eastern European women are shallow too, in fact, the truth is most are, no matter where you go, there are A LOT of shallow women out there, ESPECIALLY here in the US and in the state I live in. I'm not trying to compare who has it worse 'cause that's counter-productive, I'm just saying the truth is that life is unfair, and short men like you and I got the short end of the stick... there is no lying around that fact, besides being set up for the ultimate downfall... and believe me, I know from experience, it's a LOT worse than being told up front.
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Old 09-27-11, 09:04 AM   #17
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Hi Alex,

I felt compelled to post on your thread again because I recognise a lot of what you are going through. None of this is meant to make you feel any better (only you can do that) but it's just the perspective of a similar guy who is 20 years down the line. Maybe now I'm approaching 40 I couldn't really care less what people think about me

You sound a lot like me when I was 19. I was small and slim built, didn't really have to shave, had very little body hair and felt a lot less masculine than the other lads in my school. I was very shy and quiet and my chances of getting a girlfriend were zero. In fact I did have a couple of brief, distressing episodes with girls and remember being called repulsive and being ridiculed because of my size (not height...size, if you know what I mean). The thing to remember is that many teenage girls can be just as imature and insensitive as the boys despite them thinking otherwise. They don't know what they want in a man, only what they think they want (the football captain). I think I remember telling you that I made a serious suicide attempt at your age and this was a big part of why I did it.

A couple of years later when I had left home I met my wife. She was 5'2 so as a couple we looked fine together. Also she was different to a lot of girls I had come into contact with before. She was more mature (although she was only 19 herself) and wasn't interested in in all the macho men with their bullshit. The thing is that a lot of these masculine blokes are egotistical show offs and treat women like dirt. It might be a turn on for some girls but not all of them by any means. She loved me for who I was and didn't care about the physical attributes I so hated in myself. This did wonders for my self esteem although similar issues have been with me all my life. At least now I think I can handle them better with experience.

It's different now at my age and you start to look at things the other way round. I look at some men my age and think, omg I hope I never look like that. They are fat, bald or grey, wrinkled and have unsightly body hair. They look old! In contrast I still look young for my age with my boyish looks. The other week I was asked for ID buying beer in the local store! I can easily pass for 20 something which is great. As well as looking young I am still not that manly. I work out to some extent but not too much as big muscles wouldn't suit my frame. I like to keep fit but don't want to look like I go to the gym. Some people who have known me for a while even thought I was gay! My best mate is simlar, although he is tall he is skinny and not at all manly and I swear that when we go for a drink people think we are a couple. It doesn't help that we both teach music and are in touch with our feminine side . But you see a lot of women like that. When they find out we are anything but gay both of us get quite a bit of female attention . I get hit on all the time, often by girls way younger than me. I get hit on by some guys too . My problem is not finding someone, it's that I have commitment issues and no faith in the future so I will often turn them away. What a change from all those years ago!

So my friend, what I'm saying is that your time will come. It might be little comfort now but bear with it because the future is bright and things do change, usually when you least expect it.

Best wishes

Chris
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Old 09-27-11, 10:41 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by everybodyhateschris View Post
Hi Alex,

I felt compelled to post on your thread again because I recognise a lot of what you are going through. None of this is meant to make you feel any better (only you can do that) but it's just the perspective of a similar guy who is 20 years down the line. Maybe now I'm approaching 40 I couldn't really care less what people think about me

You sound a lot like me when I was 19. I was small and slim built, didn't really have to shave, had very little body hair and felt a lot less masculine than the other lads in my school. I was very shy and quiet and my chances of getting a girlfriend were zero. In fact I did have a couple of brief, distressing episodes with girls and remember being called repulsive and being ridiculed because of my size (not height...size, if you know what I mean). The thing to remember is that many teenage girls can be just as imature and insensitive as the boys despite them thinking otherwise. They don't know what they want in a man, only what they think they want (the football captain). I think I remember telling you that I made a serious suicide attempt at your age and this was a big part of why I did it.

A couple of years later when I had left home I met my wife. She was 5'2 so as a couple we looked fine together. Also she was different to a lot of girls I had come into contact with before. She was more mature (although she was only 19 herself) and wasn't interested in in all the macho men with their bullshit. The thing is that a lot of these masculine blokes are egotistical show offs and treat women like dirt. It might be a turn on for some girls but not all of them by any means. She loved me for who I was and didn't care about the physical attributes I so hated in myself. This did wonders for my self esteem although similar issues have been with me all my life. At least now I think I can handle them better with experience.

It's different now at my age and you start to look at things the other way round. I look at some men my age and think, omg I hope I never look like that. They are fat, bald or grey, wrinkled and have unsightly body hair. They look old! In contrast I still look young for my age with my boyish looks. The other week I was asked for ID buying beer in the local store! I can easily pass for 20 something which is great. As well as looking young I am still not that manly. I work out to some extent but not too much as big muscles wouldn't suit my frame. I like to keep fit but don't want to look like I go to the gym. Some people who have known me for a while even thought I was gay! My best mate is simlar, although he is tall he is skinny and not at all manly and I swear that when we go for a drink people think we are a couple. It doesn't help that we both teach music and are in touch with our feminine side . But you see a lot of women like that. When they find out we are anything but gay both of us get quite a bit of female attention . I get hit on all the time, often by girls way younger than me. I get hit on by some guys too . My problem is not finding someone, it's that I have commitment issues and no faith in the future so I will often turn them away. What a change from all those years ago!

So my friend, what I'm saying is that your time will come. It might be little comfort now but bear with it because the future is bright and things do change, usually when you least expect it.

Best wishes

Chris
Thank you for sharing your experience. Actually, I have a strong will to live, even though I don't sound like it. There's so much I don't want to miss out on, It's just when you come across all the negative comments and think- jesus, I had no idea they viewed me like that.. I want to be liked by people and such remarks are like a knife through the heart. Maybe it is believed - men have no emtions and don't give a damn, but we do.

I truly hope you're right and it gets better with age and maturity.
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Old 11-18-11, 05:18 PM   #19
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Been having these thoughts again lately. Hey everybodyhateschris, you're 5'8 which is MUCH better than being 5'3. One 5'5 guy even did an experiment he bought elevator shoes and looked 5'8,and guess what? He got WAY more attention. The highest I can get to is 5'6 with double lifts that hurt my legs, but heck I have no choice really. ANd the thing is -most guys that complain are 5'5-5'6 and those girls who are open to dating someone short usually mean 5'6-5'7, so where does that put me ? THis world is cruel.

Last edited by Alex19; 11-18-11 at 05:20 PM.
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Old 11-18-11, 06:03 PM   #20
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Hi Alex,

Sorry to hear that you're feeling so bad about this still. I'm a bit down myself at the moment so probably can't offer you many words of comfort. There is no point in me saying that height is not important to a lot of women, especially if we are talking about initial attraction. You know that better than anyone. At 5'8 I feel like I am quite short, certainly compared to my male friends who are over 6' and it's unlikely that I would be approached in a bar by women who don't know me at all. They will go for the tall, masculine guy every time:-( Of course nowadays it doesn't help that I am old and ugly too lol!

Unfortunately it is something that you can't really change so the only option is to change the way you think about it. Okay, it's unlikely that many women you don't know are going to approach you out of the blue. But you know what? That's not often how good relationships start. You meet someone when you least expect it and usually when you are not even looking. Remember I said I get hit on? It's by women who already know me socially. They like me for the person I am because I am a genuinely nice bloke. If it were down to looks alone they would never be interested. Do you see what I'm saying? You need to accept your body and your height and try to make the best of things. They are not the only things women look for and I'm sure that if you do your best to put yourself in more social situations you will meet women who can get to know you properly. Who knows where that might lead.

It's hard but you are young and you will get through this. Things will work out for you but you have to stop being so hard on yourself about your looks. Easier said than done I know.
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