I wish i was dead - Page 2
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Suicide Forums > Suicide


I wish i was dead

This is a discussion on I wish i was dead within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; I'm so so sorry. I can't IMAGINE what you must be enduring. You sound very resilient to have suffered like ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-09-14, 04:03 PM   #11
TTL Bronze Member
 
SensualGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 6,607
My Mood:
Default

I'm so so sorry. I can't IMAGINE what you must be enduring. You sound very resilient to have suffered like this for so long with no help or support.

I think when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Is there a positive spin? Like being isolated and a hermit and a loner is alluring. No more dealing with nasty filthy humans.

Also, lots of free time. You can read and learn about anything you want and become really knowledgeable about the world. It's its own reward. Hope that helped.
SensualGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-14, 01:03 PM   #12
Member
 
FromTheHeart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 746
My Mood:
Default

To a lot of people the topic title may sound harsh and shocking. But this IS how I feel about the reality of my life.

Ten years ago I decided to take a different approach in medical treatment. I thought, well I have nothing to lose. I hope it will get better and if something goes wrong, I will die for sure. But things went from bad to worse, including hospital admission, but unfortunately I didn't die. If I could turn back time I would have stayed put and done nothing. Because since then my life has been a living nightmare.

So in my view I have done a lousy job. With regard to life in general and also with regard to my ME.

There is something good in every situation people say, but I don't see what that is. Maybe that everyday I am one step closer to my eternal peace. Luckily I am only here for a limited time.

Anyway, hottea654/ziedite/SensualGirl, I appreciate your kind words. Thank you.
__________________
Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away,
to a land where joys will never end,
I'll fly away.

Last edited by FromTheHeart; 11-11-14 at 01:08 PM.
FromTheHeart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-14, 04:16 PM   #13
Member
 
FromTheHeart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 746
My Mood:
Default

I want to kill myself. I could disappear into thin air and nowone will ever find me. There will be no memorial service, no burial, no obituary, no notification of family and friends (they basically don't care anyway). If ,by chance, they do find me, they won't know who I am.

I just have to work up the nerve to do it. But everything is better than this horrible life in this horrible world. I simply don't belong here. I have been nauseaous all day, sick to the stomach that is. It only adds to my living nightmare.

I am longing for my eternal peace, no more suffering, no more heartbreak, no more hardships. I will make it work then I will be released from this life of agony. Finally. Thank God.
__________________
Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away,
to a land where joys will never end,
I'll fly away.
FromTheHeart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-13-14, 10:49 PM   #14
TTL Platinum Member
 
Aries's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: On my own planet...
Posts: 18,226
Default

FromTheHeart~I hope you don't mind me posting on your thread. Truly sorry I didn't catch this sooner. I do apologize.

For the feelings of not wanting to be here. Believe me, I can understand where you're coming from. Here's the problem with that. You've touched people on this site. Your kind words, thoughts, or just a being here, makes them try harder to make it. I understand you're suffering & it's not easy feeling that way. I know this will be "odd" with me saying this, but we're never given more than we can handle. I know that life can be overwhelming & things within it can be as well. There's always better or other options to think about/consider, then something so final. To me, it's know that you have people that care, even IF your real life isn't like what we have here. You're part of THIS family & we need you to keep pushing through things. We will be here to support you, the best way(s) we're able/capable of doing. The things that hurt us the most, are what we need to make us stronger, when things aren't working out the way we anticipated they would. I know that I would miss you, dearly, if you weren't here to be in my life. I'm sure I'm not the only one either. Just know that people here, are giving you the strength(s) to carry on, just keep being the strong person we know you are, because people do care about you dear.
__________________
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher

Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee

That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
Aries is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-14, 04:53 AM   #15
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,835
My Mood:
Default

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((FromTheHeart) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
123Noon321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-14, 12:54 PM   #16
Member
 
FromTheHeart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 746
My Mood:
Default

Finally the nausea is subsiding, thank God. So that is one positive. Aries and nsdimitrije, thanks for the support.
__________________
Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away,
to a land where joys will never end,
I'll fly away.

Last edited by FromTheHeart; 11-15-14 at 12:57 PM.
FromTheHeart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-14, 05:07 PM   #17
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,835
My Mood:
Default

I am glad that nausea is subsiding.

Best wishes. We are there for you.
123Noon321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-14, 08:53 PM   #18
Member
 
FromTheHeart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 746
My Mood:
Default

I hardly could believe it when I heard the news. The volcanic eruption in Laki, Iceland that has been going on for several months now is actually the biggest since 1783. Back then the eruption caused crop failure and famine in Europe. Resulting in civil war, social unrest etc. The French revolution was also a result of it.

The situation now is that the eruption is still going, but the earthquakes are somewhat subsiding. If this all was to follow the 1783 scenario, it would give me back my freedom of choice. No more 'professionals' denying free choice, no more fake concern, no more stupid fences in certain places. There would be chaos everywhere and nowone would even notice me. However, the 1783 event was devastating and although a repetition is possible, it is not very likely it will happen now.

Anyway, it is sad that such a horrible event would be needed to bring back the freedom of choice for every individual. If this is what they call a democracy, well it is all a big lie.
__________________
Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away,
to a land where joys will never end,
I'll fly away.

Last edited by FromTheHeart; 11-18-14 at 08:55 PM.
FromTheHeart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-14, 04:12 AM   #19
Member
 
FromTheHeart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 746
My Mood:
Default

Meteor? UFO? Flash Over Russia May Have Earthly Origin - NBC News

Yet more proof that the earth is changing. Meteorites entering the earth's atmosphere are getting more frequent. There are also more earthquakes, seaquakes, volcanic eruptions, climatic changes etc. If this all continues it will result in civil unrest. And finally world war 3.

Why? This all has happened before. Preceding world war 1, for instance, there was the Tunguska meteorite, the San Fransisco earthquake, the 1909 tsunami in Indonesia etc. During the war itself came pandemic disease (Spanish flu) causing even more deaths than world war one on its own.

Frowned upon today as a myth, the opening of Pandora's box caused catastrophies to happen simultaneously. But maybe the ancients are more accurate than today's world presumes.

It is a horrible and scary future. It is my biggest fear, even bigger than what is going on in my own life. I sure hope it will not come to pass. But for me personally nothing would really change, I don't have a life or a future anyway.
__________________
Just a few more weary days and then,
I'll fly away,
to a land where joys will never end,
I'll fly away.

Last edited by FromTheHeart; 11-21-14 at 04:17 AM.
FromTheHeart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-21-14, 04:46 AM   #20
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 4,835
My Mood:
Default

Dont be too anxious about stuff. Dont overthink. Only reasons why WWI started were, Austrian prince Franz Ferdinands killing, which happened in Bosnia and human greed for more territory and wealth. No meteor affected it.

Dont overthink, try not to be paranoid. Stay safe.
123Noon321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:23 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2020 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2