I can’t say my life situation is worse than ever. It’s not.
But the huge difference between now and any other “bad times” is the lack of hope.
I’ve been trying to create some breakthrough for so long, I’ve exhausted all hope I had, that it’s ever gonna get any better.
It gets tiny better, then much worse, then again little better then much much worse again.
All the trouble is revolving around same things over and over and over...
Looks like I am fixing one aspect of my life, then the other fails hard and it repeats. I can not find a single “solid rock” to rely on, like there is no ground under my feet.
I was laying here and thinking, if only I could donate my life to other people. Someone who has that will to live, who has a good heart, and people they care about.
Have you seen 7 pounds movie?
If not, I could just settle for someone telling me, that eventually it’s gonna be ok...I probably won’t believe it anyways.