I want to kill myself but I keep getting these ideas that it Ã*sent gonna be any better when I die, so I should stay on the planet and keep the suffer, try and live with it. I am having fantasies, that I will have cancer or something like that so I can die and it wouldent be my fault. I think that I will be punished after death if I do this! But at the same time (..EDITED). I am worried for my impulses, some days I dont thing straight and I am really depressed, worse than usual days( I am always depressed but somedays I just cant stand it and I just cant stand ppl and this life)
I have told my parent about this but they think I am joking, and they tell me I am stupid, even when I say I am depressed. I am not so much worried about them, and if they will cry after I will die.
This summer they are going on vacation for2 months and I want to stay at home, I am afraid that I will hurt myself. ( EDITED)