I feel so isolated
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I feel so isolated

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Old 04-27-21, 07:06 AM   #1
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Hi, everyone. This is my first time here. English isn't my mother tongue, so I'm sorry if I'm not totally clear in this writing.
I just had my therapy session and I couldn't say to my therapist that I'm suicidal. Nobody knows and deep inside I'm feeling more and more isolated from the world. I don't want anyone to worry about be, and that feeling can turn into a burden. I feel like Jeckyll and Hyde, two people in one: one part of me lives for other beings (humans and non-human animals) and for society (i mean, I 'must' live) and the other part of me, the real me, has no interest in life whatsoever. I'm a fraud. Lately, I'm more closer to you than to other people, you make me feel less weird. Thank you for that.
I just needed to write this down, and here. I'm sorry if I said anything out of place.
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Old 04-27-21, 05:12 PM   #2
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its a good feeling to welcome you as an openhearted straightforward woman..
it does not show here that English is not your mother tongue,it isn't mine either and so many others on this forum..we can read what you wrote and perfectly understnd what you mean,therapy is useful but i guess not all people believe in it,believing that you're suicidal is in my eyes wrong thinking,isolation and being a loner in life are issues which we see more and more in this nowadays complicated society..why you are suicidal?and by the way there is nothing in your posting which you said wrong or out of place..just post some more about how you feel,lots of people here listen and maybe have had the same feelings then you

feel free to post whatever you wanna say,Julietta
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Old 04-27-21, 05:14 PM   #3
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Hey Julietta. Welcome to TTL.

It's very kind of you that you wouldn't want anyone to worry about you, though your therapist is paid to do exactly that. They took that job specifically to help and protect others. Everyone needs support from time to time.

Is it possible you are overburdened yourself, and need time off of your own to reflect and really work through these issues?

I can see being burned out and tired as a potential cause for apathy for life, at least.

There are times when one cannot get away from one's responsibilities or burdens and there are times when one isn't adequately recovering in the time that they do have. Lack of sleep could be a potential factor in that.

Feel free to talk about anything that bothers you here. There might be more insights that some of us have that could help you.

Take care.
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Old 04-27-21, 09:32 PM   #4
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Hi, Tigerlover and Daftone. Thank you so much for your replies and your support, it is so important to know that we are not alone facing these issues. I think and see since always that suicide is such a hard subject to talk about, but then it is so present in our lives, so being able to adress this topic is so valuable.

It's funny, or maybe not funny, but talking to you makes me feel the exact same feeling that i experienced with my therapist today, i really don't want to bother you.
I wrote today because i have all these images in my head and a world of feelings in my heart that i'm not "allowed" to express in society, and that burden sucks.

In a few words, i've been feeling suicidal for more than ten years. I can control myself so much that i built a whole person around me which is not really me...
But in part it's me when i care and suffer for this planet and its beings so much... mainly for non human animals, i'm an activist in this field. In the last years, my family and my daily action towards (sadly utopian) animal liberation have been my connexion with existence. Besides that, i have this believe that my real me doesn't belong to earth. But i'm actually in peace with that, i'm not looking for a "reason to live", as i call it, a reason completely mine. As it lasts, i'll give myself to others.

My main interest in this forum is to stop feeling that isolated and being able to share some (healthy) thoughts and (sane) ideas with you. So, thank you for being there. I'd like to help other people with all the positivity that i naturally feel towards others.
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Old 04-28-21, 04:21 AM   #5
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When you say that you don't have a reason to live that is completely your own, it sounds like you are saying that you care more about others and animals than you care for yourself.

Your outlook as to helping others with your time is a very good one. There are times when we need to look after ourselves and it's very good that you recognize that.

There are very few people who devote their lives to helping others and I think that is very admirable. Especially animals who have no voice of their own. You are laying the foundation for a better future and perhaps, hopefully, you can find peace in that.
There was a time when human lives were much shorter than they are today and some of the things people have worked on, they never saw finished in their lifetime. In shows in your outlook that your vision of the world is beyond the scope of you. Because of that, you are probably a much better person than most people.
Thank you for that, and for all that you do. A lot of people are very selfish in their actions and beliefs. I'm trying to be less so.

If you need to find a meaning to go on that is more of your own, then I think that would still be in line with your drive to help animals, because you are an animal yourself. You are a particularly good and kind animal. I hope that you can see your own worth, and I hope that your own personal reasons to go on will come to you.
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Old 04-28-21, 07:34 AM   #6
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O.K,Jullietta,thanks for coming in..sometimes we cannot express our own feelings,mostly because we're afraid that others might get hurt or not like what we say..indeed a burden maybe but that can be overcome if we get valued and support by others for what we said..freedom of speech is a right,you know...i got few friends who value animals more then humans,specially cats or dogs...we are only tiny hairpins in this giant straw stack the world is,but even then,never worry==your voice will always be heard by some people who give you the value you deserve..we all suffer,but if we want to be in peace with ourself we should look to it that we are content with the things we have,friends,animals,the internet..so the real you belongs to this world although you think you don't...this forum connects people to find a way in this giant labyrinth this planet has become...your positivity will give you respect from others and in that way you could feel less isolated..
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Old 04-30-21, 03:43 PM   #7
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Hi Julietta, welcome to the forum. I hope this forum would make you feel that you are not alone. We are here to listen
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