No, I do not hear voices.
I have faith and believe in God.
I have a lousy life that keeps getting worse.
I am not strong enough to endure all this pain.
I am tired and want this over with.
Just existing isn't working.
I keep believing God is trying to teach me, draw me closer to Him.
I am failing and I am ok with it.
They say to imagine or think of those you would effect, or leave behind.
No one would care. No one would hardly even know. I hardly exist to anyone, and those who I do are my husband and our two grown kids who only need me for money.
I'm just over all the hate, the pain, the confusion of this messed up world. We work jobs and family is second, ourselves last.
This isn't how God wanted this world.
I don't want to fake through another day, watching the hours slowly tick by until I can escape into the dark recesses of my room under the covers, praying day light never comes and cursing it when it does.
I don't care.
I have been thrown away and should just go away.
No one will care anyway as I just barely exist.
Happiness isn't meant for me.
The short instances I have had, I ruined them being me.
Survival of the fittest and I fail.
I believe God knows our lives, wrote it out Himself. Therefore planned and knows who will end their own life and when.
I know Him to be a loving God, and to know my heart.
If I am wrong, then the hell and pain I am enduring is preparing me for eternity and I have to question what worth am I at all on any level of existence.
I can't explain my life, my miserable state of being. I can't understand and I've grown too tired to want too anymore.
I know how, and I know where.
My time is short, and that gives me peace.