i lost the one person i've ever loved and i still cant get them out of my head. my family kicked me out cause im crazy, i couldnt remember any of them. all my friends left me cause they say im crazy. i havent talked to anyone in about 6 months. i havent ate in so long. i have scars all over me that will never go away. I cant remember how to act. the walls are still moving and breathing. the other person wont stop hurting me. i have an urge that i cant say even on here cause its messed up. why wont he stop. i dont even know what i look like. i cant do this anymore. i gave up on life a long time ago ive been waiting for the right moment to do it. my life is ruined. i used to be normal i think i cant remember. everything i try and do gets messed up. i just want it to stop. ive never talked to anyone about my feelings before. ive tried to die twice but it only got me in hospital. i dont know what to do. sorry