Piper - First of all, welcome.
As I read thru what you've written here, it truly hurts. It hurts and it's painful and while the tears keep flowing, you feel that there's nothing you can do. There is dear
First of all, have you considered getting into some kind of counselling or therapy? This place as much as finding support in your own life is a good start.
Maybe try and talk to your mother and explain how she's making you feel would also help? I don't know your complete situtation
, but sometimes when people hurt us, it's because they "feel" that they're able to do so. Maybe trying to talk with her would help? While it's only my thinking/thoughts and opinion here, it may help you.
We will all be here to help you as much as we can.