I guess when you go through such a life you do loose your wits. I too self harm and it gets me through the day like I am doing it to live. I know how calming the effect can be.
People can be shit and dwelling on the things they do can make us feel hurt and they won't even care. So I think that giving such people more time than we already have is kinda stupid. They don't give a fuck and we shouldn't too. I know what I am saying is hard to do, trust me I know, but that's the only way out. I got out of a relationship this way only.
PS share more. There are people listening here. Always. C'here let me hug you