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He is the one.

This is a discussion on He is the one. within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; I'm not sure if this is going to be very structured as my mind is all over the place with ...

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Old 11-15-15, 07:57 PM   #1
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Unhappy He is the one.

I'm not sure if this is going to be very structured as my mind is all over the place with this, but i will try anyway.
I have suffered from depression and self hatred for years now and i learned to live with it. That was until i met this guy and everything went away , i finally was happy with my life and i felt i belonged somewhere and that i had a purpose. Nobody could compare to him, honestly. I'm not naive to 'love' , i've had many relationships and the love i felt for him was on another scale even compared to a two year relationship i had. Everything was perfect , he is everything i would want in a partner. I lost him and i told myself at first that i would get over it. I'm not over it and i have no bad feelings towards him even though he hurt me. I was with someone else but i think i have lost the ability to feel for anyone else as nobody can compare to him, i feel no attraction for anyone else at all. If you were to ask for my one wish it would be to be with him , i honestly don't see myself finding anyone better or anyone other i would be happy with.
Anyhow, after loosing him my depression hit hard straight away again , i'm really struggling to cope finding a reason to be here or a purpose. The happiest i felt was with him and i believe he is the only person that could do that to me. Therefore i do not see there is any point to life if i cannot be happy in life, if i'm not good enough for what i love , why should i bother being here?
I hate myself so much for the reason he won't be with me. I need a reason to be here , i wish i was happy.
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Old 11-15-15, 11:01 PM   #2
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Hi PRL,

Sorry to hear that. Sounds tough.

I would look on the bright side if I were you: even though you're not in the company of someone you want to be with, at least you're not in the company of the opposite. It's better to be alone than to be in bad company.

There are ways to find purpose like with careers or beliefs. Also, it's nice to remember good people and try to help them and make a difference in someone else's life. There are also pets looking for love.

I went through the same thing, strangely enough, with a punk rocker. He was the best I've ever be in love with. But the relationship went south and even though he said it wasn't me, I still feel like maybe it was. My heart is like a rock when it comes to men and I haven't fallen in love since and genuinely don't think I'm capable of it, to the point where one of my friends thinks I'm a lesbian and another thinks I'm asexual hee hee. But I'm happy. I got over him because nobody's perfect, so I just reflected on his flaws.
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depression, love, suicide, heartbreak, self-hatred

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