I have felt this way for about 3 years. Due to events i described in my post in the Meet the Community
) i found myself questioning the value of human life and since then everything has been downhill for me. Add to that the fact that i am a bad person and life is pretty unbearable. You are just going to have to take my word on it that i am a bad person i am not going to elaborate on that point.
I guess the basic problem is that the thing thats "going on" to "cause this" is life itself. Sure theres some things that could happen that would make it better, but there is also so much that as far as i can tell are simply facts of life and are never going to get better.
If there is anything of Ayn Rands philosophy that still influences me it is the idea that if you are faced with a evil you cant fight against the least you can do is not participate in it. There are simply to many fucked up things about human life for me to feel comfortable even participating in it.