08-16-06, 09:25 PM
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#1
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TTL Bronze Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: California USA
Posts: 6,622
My Mood:
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dead inside
well i woke up this morning feeling like crap, went to straighten a few things and came across my original plans. i gave myself a year for things to change (though in reality it has 14 going on 15 years), to payoff the truck, credit card bill, normal expenses, save for the funeral, and leave a little more in case there was something i missed. its been at least a year now and nothing.....except i accomplished what my plans were minus the notes for my loved ones and just getting things over with.
i am old before my time but without the luxury of the end being near. i feel like the dented can in the grocery store that everyone passes up on or scoots to the back of the shelf. i don't know what i'm going to do....... i can't even muster up the strength to look at classes i intended to take next week or the classes at the backup school either i just feel so drained, useless and empty. i'd like it to just stop.......i have to go think about this.
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08-16-06, 09:34 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 175
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Dax
Stop what is going on to make you feel this way? I haven't done everything I wanted to either but reality is we never accomplish everything that we want to. Talk to me. I am here if you need me. Please talk to me.
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08-16-06, 09:43 PM
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#3
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TTL Platinum Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: On my own planet...
Posts: 18,210
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Dax come on dear, I know everything you had on you "to do list" may not have all gotten done, but that's because you're not finished! You have such wonderful outlook on that list dear! I know that you're hurting, but you need to stay & talk to us about this! Please, lets make up a new list, maybe things we can do in days/weeks. On the list for today, talk to us!
Blessings!
Aries
__________________
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
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08-17-06, 12:40 AM
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#4
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TTL Gold Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pa- walking where ever the crow takes me
Posts: 10,936
My Mood:
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dax don't even think of killing your self
hey i feel it to, i'm alone and it sucks, but you have to push threw. come on man what if i make it your going to work for me and those girls i'm hooking you up with, you have to stick around for that
__________________
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"...hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption, winding in, winding out, the shine of which has caught my eye..." "vindicated, i am selfish, i am wrong, i am right, i swear i'm right, i swear i knew it all along, i am flawed, but i am cleaning up so well, i am seeing in me now, the things you swore you saw yourself.."
it can't rain all the time
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08-17-06, 12:44 AM
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#5
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Experienced Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: East Nebraska
Posts: 2,007
My Mood:
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dax, come on!!! we care for you here!!! you are our brother! we need you!!!
__________________
"If we don't hit rock bottom, We won't know what it's like to get back up!"
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08-17-06, 06:04 PM
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#6
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TTL Bronze Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: California USA
Posts: 6,622
My Mood:
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dont know if talking about it will help this time, i found a spot though, i am going there now to think about things, sorry i iwasted anybody's time.
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08-17-06, 06:08 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11,944
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dax
come on, get ahold of this. you are in a down spot and struggling. you know that you mean something to us and we can't let you think that suicide is the answer. just hang out here and let us help you through this.
and ...really - wouldn't your lOVED ones rather hear what you are going through and help and listen now than to grieve over the last words you wrote to them? why not let them in now....
be patient and ride this wave until it passes. be strong for us, ok?
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08-17-06, 06:51 PM
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#8
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TTL Platinum Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: On my own planet...
Posts: 18,210
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dax, you're not wasting anybody's time, so please, don't say that you are. You've got to beat this thing & we all know you CAN do it! Please, talk to us!
Blessings!
Aries
__________________
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~ Mary Anne Radmacher
Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one. ~ Bruce Lee
That which does not kill us makes us stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche
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08-17-06, 07:27 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,196
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You are not wasting anyones time.
Things can and will get better.
I wish I had something like this when I was your age, I would not have made all the mistakes I did.
Please, we are here for you, we will love you through this.
Keep talking, we know you are ok if you keep talking
Blessings
Angel
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08-19-06, 08:20 AM
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#10
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 47
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Once again on this site, I see a post describing thoughts/actions very much like my own. For what it is worth, you are not the only one.
I
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